Fake

After attending Our Life Together, an annual clergy retreat for Indiana United Methodists, last Thursday and Friday, I have finally been able to more clearly articulate why I do not like hanging out with other clergy.  

I am sure that sounds strange to plumbers, doctors, lawyers and teachers who all enjoy conversation and small talk with their respsective colleagues, but sometimes I just cannot stand other people like myself.

The-dude-down-the-hall from me is an exception.  I like Todd because he is even weirder than me and embraces his weirdness with gusto!

For some reason I didn't have this experience while in seminary.  I enjoyed my colleagues then, had study groups with them, went to Duke basketball games with them, and babysat their kids.  But, out here in the non-academic setting... small talk with other pastors is just plain odd, uncomfortable and painful.

What makes it odd is the pastor who cannot be real.  You know, the fake.  She keeps her voice in a preacher cadence. He talks nothing but church business.  I had this experience last week in a small group setting.  It set my teeth on edge and my heart a-racing for the door.

My immediate reaction was to help the group 'get real fast'.  So what do I do?  Start cussing.  Nothing like a few swear words to cut through the crap and get to the real stuff.  Somebody has to be a role model for being real and not a fake, false, hypocrite.  So I, the hot-rod preacher, let my colleagues know how to be real. 

I think it helped.  At least it spiced up our dull conversation for a millisecond. 

Word to my colleagues- if I want to know your church stats- I'll look them up.  When I see you I want to know 1) when your next vacation is and where are you going; 2) what have you read lately that I might enjoy; 3) how is your family, you and your hobbies. 

be real.  be comfortable in your own skin.  Lordy, if you cannot.. then God help the church be real!