Grandparents- rock!

An unforeseen result of folks sharing their condolences with me has been to hear of many other grandparent stories! Fresh tears have welled up in the eyes of these grown ups who've told me about a grandmother or grandfather who was particularly special.

Perhaps I should not be surprised. But I have been amazed to hear many other grandchildren tell their pride and admiration stories for a grandparent who was special. Lots of love is transmitted within these stories and tears.

I hope I have the privilege of being a grandparent one day... to pay forward the gift grandparenting was to me toward another generation within the family tree. Wisdom, love, support, presence, hope, and faith, perspective: these are all contributions grandparents make to their children's children.

To all the grandparents among us- you rock! To all the grandchildren among us- you rock too! Because the push and pull of this special rapport and bond is definitely best observed as a mutual loving connection across the chasm of time, generation, and life experience... but it is a significant bonding that links more than generations together.

So I say to my biological grandparents who are all now in heaven: Grandpa Grant and Grandma Betty Jo, Grandpa Michael and Grandma Florence; Blest be the tie that binds! I shall remember you to my children's children...

Eulogy for my Gram

The following is the eulogy that I wrote for my Gram, Betty Jo Lowe-Krout. I wanted to brag a little about her because I miss seeing her every week in worship. I hope you are inspired by her discipleship as I have always been. We were both proud of each other.

October 7, 2011

Dear God,

I write you, Lord, on behalf of all who know and love Betty Jo. We want to say; “Thank you”. Thank you for creating, redeeming and sustaining Betty Jo. You made her a ‘good egg’. She is ‘a keeper’.

Lord, you sure did pack a lot of amazing qualities into a five-foot-two-inch body! You fashioned her with intelligence, caring, stubbornness, fun, love, faith, class, and wisdom. Betty Jo was comforting, joyful, friendly, creative, musical, thrifty, giving, and devoted. She had her quirks like drinking her strange concoction of wheat germ goop with gelatin and the billions of vitamins she swallowed yearly. But we love her anyway and are deeply grateful for her eighty-four years on this earth.

We are all blessed because of her impact and positive influence on our lives.
Lord, you blessed Betty Jo with family. She was nestled in the middle of her siblings: Anna Lou and Jim. Her parents George and Julia were entrusted with a blue-eyed daughter who loved dance lessons and music (she played violin and sang), reading and writing. They made sure she was baptized in their home congregation of Jamestown UMC the January after her May birth. She was also surrounded by loving, kind grandparents who helped fashion her strength and Christian faith.

Betty Jo’s early years were humble and simple. People would today call her situation: poor. Her modest childhood explains her later hobby of doll making and dollhouses. She loved to read anything and everything. She was a consistent letter writer. As a pre-teen she created and designed her own newspaper. Her childhood dream was to become a writer and/or journalist.

Lord, you blessed Betty Jo with intelligence and determination. She graduated from Crawfordsville High School in three and a half years. She was the valedictorian of her class. She wanted to go onto college, but the financial resources were nonexistent and there were few choices that appealed to her.

She may have never made it to a four year college, but my final year at Duke Divinity School, Gram attended my Preaching the Parables class with Dr. Richard Lischer. (I think she was the only grandmother to ever sit in at Duke.) A week later Gram mailed me a letter with the completed homework assignment that Dr. Lischer gave in class. The assignment was to write an original parable. I handed in her paper with mine. I am proud to say we both got A’s. Didn’t I say she was a capable writer?!

Lord, you blessed Betty Jo with faithful, devoted husbands; first with Grant and then later with Gene. During high school, she met Grant Lowe at a county Methodist youth gathering. He later drove his brand new tractor to her house to propose. They were married July 30, 1944. And they quickly gave birth to two intelligent, beautiful daughters. But their home and love took in countless stray critters (i.e. birds, pigs, lambs, and raccoons) as well as the eight young men who worked for them became “their boys.”

Married to a farmer and not content to be cooped up in the house, Betty Jo insisted that “if she was going to be responsible for the farm, she needed to learn how to drive a tractor.” Remember Lord, you made her stubborn! And she did plant crops and plow fields; much to the stunned amazement of her Quaker in-laws and family. Grant and Betty Jo were partners in love, life, service, and their family business.

Lord, you blessed Betty Jo with tiny, petite but able hands. And she used her hands to care for her family. Her Grandmother Dixon, a professional seamstress, taught her to sew. She took chicken feed sacks and made clothes for her daughters. Later she passed her sewing skill onto her daughters.

Betty Jo gently cared for her family in times of medical need and/or end of life circumstances. She supported her in-laws Jonathon and Jesse, her grandparents Grandma and Grandpa Dixon, her Aunt Ruth, her mother Julia, and her sister Anna Lou. Betty Jo was a life-long mental health advocate. She showed all of us kindness, comfort, and consolation in our times of sorrow or distress. Many times she has dried our tears. Gene calls her, ‘his minister’, because of the consolation and support she gave him in his grief over his first wife’s death.

When her daughters got older Betty Jo took floral design classes at the Purdue University Ag Extension. She worked at Brownsburg Flower Shop from 1965 to 1994. She received an Associate’s Degree from Ivy Tech in Nursing Home Activities while also taking classes in accounting and business to help with the Lowe Farm business.

Lord, only you know how many millions of green beans, tomatoes, and peaches Betty Jo canned with her hands over the years. Or how many flowers she arranged for worship every Sunday at Lizton UMC. Or how many sleeping bags she made for the homeless. Or how many prayer shawls she crochet’ed or how many preemie baby clothes she made for local hospitals. Or how many Sunday School lessons she taught for the Koinia Class at Lizton UMC or Seekers Class at Calvary UMC.

My favorite memory of Gram as a creative, passionate teacher is the Sunday morning Grandpa Grant was loading the car for church. He kept carrying all sorts of stuff to the car. Two trips later, I asked her why she had him put in a large planter with a rubber snake sticking its’ head out of the leaves. She replied with a chuckle, “Oh, that’s my visual aid. I’m teaching on the Garden of Eden story today.” Apparently Satan was the rubber snake.

Lord, later in her life when she was at a crossroads following Grant’s death, you gave Betty Jo the gift of Gene. What a blessing he has been to Betty Jo; giving her companionship, friendship, passion, and joy! Betty Jo had lots of love to give and her love grew and multiplied as she and Gene connected and created a larger family. Gene gave her the opportunity to play and travel on their wonderful trips to Hawaii, Florida, Mt. Rushmore/Yellowstone, and countless shorter trips around Indiana. Their romance and friendship has been a gift to all of us.

Finally, Lord, your Holy Spirit blessed Betty Jo with a robust living faith! She was a person of simple piety and personal prayer, but also a person who put her belief in God into action. Your Spirit anointed her with gifts of giving, healing, intercession, wisdom, teaching and mercy. And she used those gifts fully.

We say to you, Lord, thank you for your outpouring of blessings upon Betty Jo. We are very proud of her. And our pride and admiration are small in comparison of your great love for her. We, her family and friends, trust that You, O God, said to her a week ago last Thursday, “Well done, good and faithful servant. Well done!”

All my love,

Michelle (a.k.a. one of Betty Jo’s “sweethearts”)

Musings

Rainy afternoon are designed for long novels, hot tea and blankets... not desk top computers, deadlines and interupptions. So, here I am trying to get the busyness and business of churchn minstry accomplished when my inner self is crying out for candles and fuzzy covers.

I have found day to day living a bit awkward having finished all the work of care-giving and the final details of funerals and follow up thank youn otes. The question unasked in my mind is, "so what's next?" How does a person go on living after a death, a life-change, the passing of the torch from one generation to another?

You just do.

Seems to be the only thing I have come up with in the past two weeks... You just put your socks on one at a time like you did the day before. You plan things. You hope for things. You cry when you the need arises within you.

The Enterprise on Star Trek movies/TV series smoothly transitions from warp speed to impulse power. Not so smooth is the transition from emotionally charged care giving and death to the new routine of live and living.

While it may be bumpy... I have discovered no one does this journey completely alone.

October Birthdays

Maybe your family is like my husband's family. You have a whole bunch of birthdays clumped together in one month. We counted recently that there are over eight birthdays within Eric's family. This does not count our wedding anniversary.

All of these special events caused me to stop by the greeting card store. I inqured if they offered a bulk rate in birthday cards. No such luck.

Our daughter too was set to be born in this month until she had other plans and arrived six weeks early. I thank her every year that she saved us from ANOTHER birthday in October.

What all this really means is that the parents of all these birthday people were very busy in February. And what special day is in February? Yes, that is right, Valentine's Day. Or at least it was winter and folks needed to do something to keep warm.

My family is the opposite. Our large birthday month is May... which means folks were busy in September. And I have no idea what that means.

Anyway- to everyone in the family : John, Jim, Jane, Brittney, Greg, Lee Ellen, Eric, and Aubrey- happy birthday month. You've bankrupted me in cards! So there will be nothing coming in the mail...

I've forgotten...

... how to write. Apparently, it has now been weeks since I last posted. Maybe my five followers have not noticed my absence because they were busy with their lives and more important things.

I have just been swallowed up in helping care for my Grandmother and the basics of family, work and home. But now that Gram is enjoying her eternal rest... perhaps we can rest up and give you something to read on this blog.

I'll be back! Soon, with more posts!