Begging Poem-Prayer

The following is from a series of poem-prayers that were inspired during a retreat awhile back.  Long conversations could be had about the intersections of spiritual poverty and physical poverty.  This intent of this poem-prayer was to consider spiritual poverty...from a different angle.

Begging V

Lord, I asked, how shall I pray?

-silence came-

Lord, I asked, how shall I pray?

-silence remained-

Lord, I argued, you tell me to be a woman of prayer.  Now, how shall I pray?!

-remember the poor, replied the Lord.

-be poor that I am rich.

But Lord, I asked, how shall I pray?

Then an image of a beggar woman stooped and dressed in gray rags flashed in my mind.

In her small bowl laid a crumb of bread and a drop of oil.

Lord, I asked, what is this? Who is this woman?

Pathetic, pitiful, degrading she crawled through the trash rummaging for a little

Lord?!

-Be poor.  Carry little, that you are rich in me.  And that I carry you.

-silence returned.

Lord, i begged, how shall i pray?

Amazonian Woman

I am an Amazonian Woman!

Truthfully, this can be said about me not because I hail from the Amazon rain forest of our southern hemisphere (born in Indiana) and not just because I dressed as Wonder Woman last Halloween for our Trick-r-Treaters (can send pics later); but because I now work for Amazon.

Considered one of the big four companies in technology, this Seattle Washington based company has one of their many fulfillment centers about 13 minutes from my new home in central Indiana.

New again to our community, my husband and I considered getting gym memberships.  One of our goals with this life season was to get healthy, lose some weight, and just get our bodies moving.  So when the appeal for seasonal workers to 'pick' merchandise and prepare it for shipment came- it was too easy.

Get paid to walk miles for hours and put in lots of squats?!  SOLD!

Working out for my wine money, sister.  Win. Win. Win.

I could not write the irony and jokes any better that as a pastor-spiritual director-writer I work in a fulfillment center as a "picker".  LOL.  In other words I am a personal shopper for thousands of people, helping them find fulfillment in the product they purchased.  Interesting on so many levels, isn't it?!

And no, I know what you're gonna ask.  I do not dress in sexy, beautiful brass and gold breast plates like the above ladies for my 'workout' shifts.  If we're honest here, and I want to be; ...my look resembles this...

Sweaty, ponytail, and no make up!

Yep- this is how I am conquering the world- one pick at a time.  Wine will not drink itself.

But, hey, we all gotta find satisfaction somehow.  Right?!

Where or how do you find fulfillment?

Why I Write...

...because everyone has the potential to bloom! My passion is to engage persons in contemplative wonder and prayer so that they bloom within their ordinary, everyday lives with God’s great grace. Your life story unfolds within the Greatest Story Ever Told which shows how powerful words are! Each of us can blossom into people of hope and compassion!

You may have noticed my affinity for beautiful, fragrant, and brilliantly bold cherry blossoms. They are called sakura in Japan. These trees were originally native to various portions of Asia such as China, Japan, South Korea and India. Today we enjoy these amazing blooming trees in North American including our U.S. capital.

Cherry blossoms have traditionally aided persons to become contemplative as they stop to wonder at life. Admiration for the spring bloom of these blossoms dates back centuries in Japan and is known as a ceremonial tradition of hanami (cherry blossom-viewing). During the limited two-week bloom, the community gathers to consider the brilliance, fragility and transient nature of life. In other words, these unique beautiful blooms remind us in their time, to pay attention and be passionate about life’s brilliance!

Attentiveness and awareness could be like the front porch of our spiritual life with Christ. Without focus, we would miss where and how Jesus speaks with us through sacred scripture, music, natural world, or the gift of human relationships; and thus invites into making a home with Him.

Cherry blossoms serve for me, therefore, as a reminder to “pay attention” to Christ’s passion within my own life so that I can fully bloom as His grace shapes me. My prayer for you is that you too seek to deepen your relationship with Christ so that your witness and service to Him bears great fruit: bloom with passion!

To learn more- visit me at https://www.facebook.com/bloomwithpassionmichellelknight/?modal=admin_todo_tour

Winifred's Witness

"I have heard of your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love toward all the saints, and for this reason I do not cease to give thanks for you as I remember you in my prayers." Ephesians 1:15-16 

As I entered the dimly lit nursing home room, my heart paused a beat to see how small Winifred had become.  Curled up under her thin blanket she barely resembled the energetic, strong-willed leader I had known while I was in high school and college.  I had always admired this faith-giant because of her commitment to strengthen our church’s compassion in the world. 

Widowed and without adult children or grandchildren, Winifred now lived alone in the nursing home.  We shared news about my young family and our common church family.  Tears came to her eyes as she sadly stated, “Oh, I wish I had done more for the Lord!”  I asked her what more would she have accomplished.  She said, “I never really did anything.”  Politely as I could, I told this woman two generations older than I, that I disagreed with her. 

Then, I reminded Winifred of all the ways she had served not just our church, but our larger community.  She was passionate about missions and education for women.  She spent countless hours organizing and fundraising for various charities, but most of all, I thanked her for her ability to put together people who could make a difference for others.  She could build and create great teamwork.  She was the church leader who made sure I received mission scholarships which ultimately led me to pursue my vocational call into ministry. 

After the long list of stories tumbled out, Winifred’s winning smile open up wide!  In silence she patted my hand over and over, barely whispering, “Oh, thank you. I had forgotten all that”.  Out of the corner of the room, we heard the voice of her roommate holler, “Wow- gosh, I had no idea I had such an awesome roommate!”  All three of us giggled. 

Yes, when we forget what we have done for the Lord, we need another servant to come along beside us to help us remember just how much God’s Spirit has changed us to impact others. 

Precious Lord, help me remember how your Spirit has moved through me.  Most of all, help me encourage others who may have forgotten the witness they have been and are for you so that we can give you thanks.  In your sweet name, Amen. 

Who will you encourage today by remembering?

Sacred Rhythms

What if sacredness’s rhythm is idiosyncratic? Or in the words of a teenager, “Sacredness has a weird rhythm all its own.”  The sacred does not maintain a hair-tossing ‘80’s rock band beat nor a quick step bossa nova beat of the ‘60’s.  What if what is sacred marches to its own unusual pulse?

I know a bit about keeping time.  As one of two women in our college percussion section, I majored in rhythm.  My percussion study in the 1990’s included a lot of instruments from timpani to vibraphone and from triangle to claves.  Percussionists or drummers might be likened to playing a mile-wide worth of instruments (I even performed on a paper bag once, for goodness sake!), but at an inch of depth.  So perhaps you could say that I know the most about how to make a brilliantly stupid mistake sound and look like it was meant to be! 

One thing remains unmistakable: drummers drum.  We keep time so that others around us can march, dance, or ‘noodle’ over our solid groove. Drummers along with a steady bass player, keep things in sync while saxophones wail and throaty sopranos croon the blues. Drummers, if they are worth their pay, keep things tight.

Tidiness might be what drew me into the percussion section many decades ago.  Neat and tidy is often the opposite of life’s unpredictability and instability.  Who does not desire a sense of security within the fickleness of life?!  Safe space is created when a solid groove keeps on going. Why do you think thousands of people flock to ‘revel’ and ‘worship’ at the feet of great rock bands even though they know all the songs by memory and have heard the band perform them before?  It is the experience of the music performed which captures human being’s souls, I think.  The atmosphere and environment created by good quality music suspends life’s time clock which then creates a sacred moment uniquely its own.     

This kind of experience reveals something to us about the nature of our God.  God in Jesus: who is beyond time, in time, and through time; moves to a unique beat.  God’s eternal timing and my finite timing by their very natures cannot be the same.  That is probably why earlier theologians in the Christian church differentiated human time as Kronos from God’s timing as Kairos. I imagine God chuckles at humanity’s insane need to subdivide time (which is a measurement we established ourselves) into small and large segments as if we can ‘manage’ it any better.  Indeed, the Divine pulses differently than we do.    

You may have already noticed this difference of rhythm within your own prayer life.  I have.  Sometimes I am frustrated that God moves too slowly in my life to answer a petitioned prayer or rid me of an annoying sinful habit which I would like removed yesterday; please and thank you!  There are other moments in which God’s timing accelerates rapidly into my neatly organized plans and that the mess sounds like 6^th grade band students trying to perform an accelerando together for the first time!  If you have not attended a 6^th grade band concert, then imagine 500 honking geese flocking to their summer home before a major storm. Yes, the rhythm of the sacred is peculiar into itself and unlike any hip hop, reggae, funk or other human-created back beats.    

I will never forget when my percussion instructor taught us a lesson on timing that later became a wisdom moment for me.  During a percussion ensemble rehearsal when our counting became tangled over one another he said, “Interest in music is created through the pauses. This is why rhythm is an essential element in music along with tone and harmony.  Therefore, give the pause it’s due.”  Then he turned up the metronome’s volume as we tried to perform the troubling section again. 

Give the pause it’s due.  Not too fast.  Not too slow.  Let it be what it is.  When I pause in my frustration that God is not responding as quickly or as slow as I would prefer; I remember percussion ensemble rehearsal.  I give the pause or rhythm between God and me it’s due.  After all I am not the Maestro: God is.  God sets the rhythm and tempo of answered prayer, newly opened doors, healing, spiritual growth in myself or someone I love. 

My timing is not God’s timing, but maybe my time here on earth is to learn more about God’s rhythmic style than my own.  Or possibly I simply need to honor God as the kind of Divine Drummer God is!  Rock on, Jesus!  Rock on!