Tuesday, August 18, 2020

Frightened Hope: Holy Week into Easter- Devotion #3 Pastors/Caregivers COVID 19

 


In their fright the women bowed down with their faces to the ground, but the men said to them, “Why do you look for the living among the dead?” Luke 24:5

 

I was asked today by a colleague who prepares to preach an Easter message-from a distance- to her congregation... where and how I am seeing any positive opportunity in this new, strange reality. Here is my response...

Dear Pastor-Preacher-Meaning Maker,

I do not think I can yet tell what "seeds" God's Spirit is planting in me. The growth is too much in front of me. I only know how aware I am of my own limitations on everything about everything.

Inspiration is coming to me in very, very small kindnesses. Or in the transparency of folks to be honest in their self-expression or self-disclosure without putting anything more on someone else. Simple distractions. Stories of heroes. Teddy bears in windows. Baking a cake with my teen. Snuggle with my husband.

It is easy for me to be grateful and I can abide in that space... it is facing an unknown, invisible disease and the havoc it is wrecking on jobs, families, finances, and institutions that pulls me out of gratitude into scarcity about everything! That and the fact that all the HELPER type folks are exhausted and depleted and yet GO ON....and on and on.

Yes, there is positive happening within and without but also, I am gonna have to wait and see what opportunity this is. I have been through enough other difficulties and hardships to know and believe that truth to be true.

Now, today in the middle of Holy Week I remember that Easter is more than a day. It is a season until Ascension Sunday, then comes Pentecost. And then every Sunday is a "little" Easter. I have been trying my whole life of 48 years to figure out what Easter means and why it matters so much and how Easter makes a difference... so why stop now? Even with COVID 19 and it's stupid ripple impacts. I am gonna chase down Easter's meaning until my dying breath.

I am confidant about what I do not want the result of this experience to be- trauma or PTSD revisited. I would prefer to cope with a scar or wound that is in need of healing.

Not sure if I was close to answering your questions...

Much love- you are doing and being in Jesus' name- ALL THAT IS REQUIRED!

Michelle

 

 

Prayer-

God of Good Friday and God of Resurrection Sunday, meet me in my fear and trepidation.  Holy me close as I cling to you.  Amen. 


My Limitations Meet God's Strength- Devotion #2 for Health Care Workers COVID 19

 


“Great is our Lord, and abundant in power; God’s understanding is beyond measure”. Psalm 147:5

I know a variety of helpers: teachers, pastors, nurses, social workers, doctors, therapists, spiritual directors, rabbi’s, and imams; and I recognize a look in their eyes right now.  I see that same look in my bathroom mirror.  A helpless, inadequate, over whelmed, I-am-not-enough, exhausted and anxious look as we confront the extremity of our world’s problems and realities with COVID-19. 

Do you feel small in comparison to all that needs to be done?  I do. Do you feel as though you are not enough?  I do.  And it is overwhelming, isn’t it?! 

The illusion of my strength has been stripped away from me.  I am vulnerable not just to the harshness of a contagious disease, but also I am vulnerable to how this disease and its disruption impacts others in our world.  And I do not like that truth nor vulnerability.

And yet, the longer I sit with the awareness of my limitation and the more I read sacred scripture I understand more clearly the majesty and greatness of our God who loves us.  As I reflect on how large, immense, and powerful our God is I recognize that I was never supposed to be everything to all people nor have super powers to defeat all things. That is not who I am called to be.  I am not supposed to be and do BIG problems...our GOD handles those. I am best as I am while allowing GOD to be/do God’s thing!

Limitless and relentless ...power, strength, hope, love, and peace pour forth from our GOD. Maybe that is what the Apostle Paul was trying to explain in his second letter to the church in Corinth when he wrote, “But (Christ) he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong”(2 Corinthians 12:9-10).

When I recognize my limitations and open myself for God to move with infinite love, power, and grace- then my weakness is fertile soil for God’s might to grow. 

 

Prayer

God of Power and Might, heaven and earth are full of our glory; where my limitations end, may that be the beginning of your unending grace to be more than sufficient for myself and those within my care. You are enough and all that I need. Thank you for providing.  Amen. 

 


Crisis Does Not Necessitate a Crisis of Faith- Devotion #1 for Health Care Workers COVID 19

  

2 Corinthians 4:16-18 “So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal.”

 

          Yes, our world is living with a very critical, serious situation.  You, because you are on the front line of medical care, experience the immediate gravity of COVID-19 in ways others of us do not.  Indeed, we are in crisis, yet this does not have to be a crisis of our faith. 

Perhaps precisely when our faith is shaken during a crisis… it is simply being stirred in ways for which our faith can grow, deepen, or even strengthen. Now is a ripe moment for our faith: in one another, confidence in leadership, and confidence in our GOD; to transform for the better and best!  

Why am I so assured that a crisis serves as an opportunity rather than a faith catastrophe?  Because people of faith have lived with health crises similar to this during different eras. Maybe you and I have not lived through this, but the world has witnessed lots of diseases. Moreover, during previous centuries these believers grew into a mighty witness of compassion, tenderness, and hope. 

One of my favorite English speaking Christian mystics lived during the Black Plague which killed over 50 million people, over 60% of Europe. Julian of Norwich’s most famous line is often quoted by Christian pastors and leaders today: “…all will be well, and every kind of thing will be well.”  During the 14th century, Julian of Norwich reached deep within her faith to find and experience that God is like our clothing… as God “wraps and enfolds us for love, embraces us and shelters us, surrounds us for love.”

During this crisis may you reach out more to others and may this crisis compel you to deepen your faith so that you experience God’s relentless, limitless love. And then therefore, love others in a more loving, intimate way, than ever before.   

 

Prayer:

God of Relentless Love, meet me in this moment with my doubt, my struggles, and my uncertainty. Turn this crisis into an opportunity for you and I to deepen our rapport and trust. Thank you that you are my Rock and my Hope, now more than ever.  Amen. 


**I owe a special word of appreciation and thanks to my uncle, Father Michael Kallock, CSP, for sharing a devotion he wrote... he reminded me of the gift of Julian.  This blog entry and the next few which are numbered... I was asked to share with one of our local hospitals as their CEO requested local clergy write uplifting messages to their staff.  Honor to share in that way!

Friday, May 29, 2020

Pentecost Approaches- Response to Evil, Injustice, Racism, Violence


Pentecost approaches!  Time to become:
  • spiritually and emotionally singed, but not burnt; 
  • holy & wholly quenched with Divine love, grace, hope, and peace so that we, as followers of Jesus, speak/live in boldness and action.

As a co-worker in Christ has been brutally murdered while in police custody-
consider this article about George Floyd's passionate ministry to make a difference in both Houston and Minneapolis. How will you and I denounce the injustice and moreover continue his ministry legacy?
https://www.christianitytoday.com/news/2020/may/george-floyd-ministry-houston-third-ward-church.html?fbclid=IwAR01O9H8GdyVa43AF9vQvAHuc5i-eLnzm_LBZeV1A4R8OJN1ihaE5YJUEqU

As UM clergy and lay leaders are aware that Minneapolis will be hosting our global denominational gathering in 2021 (delayed from May of 2020 due to COVID 19) -
consider Bishop Ough's of Minnesota Annual Conference (UMC) statement and the brave work of peacemakers in Minnesota. How can you and I be supportive of their "boots, high heels, tennis shoes, and sandals" on the ground building and re-building relationships and community?
https://www.minnesotaumc.org/newsdetail/bishops-statement-on-the-death-of-george-floyd-14009348

As we, who are changed and transformed by the gift of the Holy Spirit to live beyond all of our isms'/hatred/divides, etc... read, share, and learn more about how you can be a voice & how you can make a difference where you live. Our UM's Commission on Religion and Race has tools, learnings, articles, and resources https://www.gcorr.org/ How can you live, do, and be in your faith differently as the Holy Spirit supplies?

Pastors and Lay leaders... I am praying for what you will preach in your pulpits/online/windshield worship/YouTube/podcasts THIS PENTECOST!

I am praying for what you will pray through your intercessions THIS PENTECOST!

I am praying for what you will teach and share in your children/youth/'small talks' with God's little ones THIS PENTECOST!

But more than my prayers... the Holy Spirit is praying and brooding over our chaos as now is the ripe time to say no to evil, injustice, racism, violence... and now is the time to re-build, re-learn, and re-connect with one another to serve on behalf of a Jesus who loves all the little children of the world...

Praying UP for fiery, holy PENTECOST which transforms each of us from the inside out!


Thursday, February 13, 2020

State of Our Hearts


Let us pray… May these words of my mouth and this meditation of my heart
be pleasing in your sight, Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer. Psalm 19:14 | NIV | 

Everyone needs to have a labyrinth pattern with 1 red and 1 blue crayons. You may recognize this labyrinth pattern.  This is the labyrinth I walked on January 8, 2020 at an Episcopal church in Englewood, Florida.  I prayed for each of you by name as I walked. 

Please take your blue crayon and draw your path into the labyrinth. No worries, you cannot get lost.  Stay within the open “lanes” of the labyrinth.  Once you arrive at the center- pause to consider a fear, anxiety, stress, or frustration that you desire to leave with Jesus.  He can care for that better than you.  Just got that emotion or draw a  picture to represent what you’re leaving behind. (no one else in this room is gonna see that).  Write that in blue in the center. When you are done, set down your blue crayon.

Grab your red crayon. As you are ready, draw your exit from the center and follow the path all the way back through the labyrinth to the original entrance.

As you make your way consider that it takes 18 turns to move from outside labyrinth’s entrance into the center.  And an additional 18 turns to go from center back to entrance. 36 turns total. That is a lot of turning- hopefully turning toward the Lord.  Once you have exited the entrance, please set your crayons down.

As everyone is finished… take your labyrinth and hold it up- over where your heart is.   Consider with me this diagram of the human organ- the heart. 



What do you notice in the movement of blood flow in the human heart diagram compared with the movement you just accomplished following the labyrinth path?  Similar, yes?!

As the blood flows into the ride side of the heart, it is depicted as blue because it is in need of oxygen.  Enters the Right atrium, then Right ventricle.  Onto the lungs to get what it needs to fuel the body.  Later blood, seen in red, has been enriched by oxygen moves into Left Atrium and then Left Ventricle then out into the upper or lower parts of our bodies.  I read recently that one red blood cell in circulation will pass through the heart every 45 seconds! 

We moved towards God’s presence as symbolized in the labyrinth center.  You left an emotion behind for God to oxygenate as only God can do. The oxygenating process reminds me of the Psalmist who said, “Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.” Psalm 51:10 | NIV 

As I walked this labyrinth on January 8th, I considered this double movement (blood flow through my body and my journey into the sacred space).  I wondered about what the human heart teaches us about the movement of the Holy Spirit to heal us, redeem us, and sanctify us… as we give room for the Spirit to do Holy Work in us.  Because we are called by Jesus’ to “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.”  Matthew 22:37 | NIV |

Heart disease is the leading cause of death in the US.  So what is happening with our ability to love God & neighbor with whole hearts if heart disease is the leading cause of death in USA?  Let that sink in… 

Scientists have now concluded that there are significant connections between our emotional health and heart disease/dis-ease.  Funny, I think, that science has just now caught up to what the ancient believers knew.  Writer of Proverbs wrote a long time ago in a far far far away…”As water reflects the face, so one’s life reflects the heart.” Proverbs 27:19 | NIV |

What are our hearts reflecting? To one another? To the church? To the world…If our hearts are so diseased as to cause death rather than healthy enough to move us to put our faith into action- my goodness

Heart research has exploded with study after study about the correlation heart diseases and emotions.  They are collecting more and more scientific evidence of what L. Frank Baum, author of the Wizard of Oz, already knew (remember what the lion wanted most?  Courage…because he was fearful of everything! Yes, I know the Tin Man wanted a heart- but the lion did not have the heart of a lion.)  Science has confirmed that it is not just stress which adversely affects the heart… but depression, anxiety, unexpressed anger, and unresolved fear.  I will let that sink in a moment too.
Recently, researchers have discovered that there is a strong link between negative emotional states, brain circuitry, inflammation, and an increased risk of heart disease.
You may be familiar with a variety of medical terms about heart diseases… but here is what I have been mulling over… what if… we thought about…
·       Coronary artery disease or Congestive heart failure (either have narrowing of the arteries) experienced “…as having a heart of stone”
·       Heart attack or Myocardial infarction… might be what we call “…a broken heart”
·       Abnormal heart rhythms, or arrhythmia's and heart valve disease (valves do not open and close properly) “might want to consider how you unhealthily “…pour your heart out…” (fail to have boundaries)
·       Congenital heart disease (birth defects… malformed walls, arteries or veins), Heart muscle disease (cardiomyopathy) and mitral regurgitation (leaky backwards valves) “…sad heart as it is weak” or “lacking heart of a lion because weak”

Some of the preachers in this room have used the phrase “…break our hearts for what breaks yours, O God”.  But with all the heart disease among us and within us and since this is this is the leading cause of death here in the US… I wonder if we’ve been dying for the wrong things?! 

Clearly, Jesus models a death which is a sacrificial and redemptive death… and invites the old in us to die…while the new lives.  If you and I are fearful, anxious in everything, deeply depressed, and/or swallowing our anger and frustration… are we breaking our hearts for the wrong or proper things? Jesus is love.  Perfect love, scripture reminds us, casts out fear. Thus, it might seem that we’re not dying a redemptive death, but dying for the wrong things.

Prophet Jeremiah speaks of a new day in which, God will make a covenant with the people “I will put my law in their minds and write it on their hearts.  I will be their God, and they will be my people.” (Jeremiah 31:33)

·       What if writing God’s law on our hearts… is a tattooed promise we are never alone? 
·       What if writing God’s law on our hearts… is the gift that we need not lean into fear because our God is bigger than what scares us in the dark? 
·       What if our portion of the covenant is that we need not swallow our frustration/pain/anger/sense of un-justness in the world- but openly give that up… in order to wear “our hearts on our sleeves…”? 
·       What if you and I are called to be quietly courageous, as we trust that the blood of Christ will circulate… and give us what we need to keep going?

More importantly, what if this whole conversation has not been about our individual hearts?  What if the more important conversation to have is the state of the heart within the Body of Christ?

What if the heart within the Body of Christ is breaking for the wrong things?  Or dying with a disease it need not have? How is the Heart of the Body of Christ- fearful, anxious, angry/frustrated, and stressed?  What can you and I do to help turn this around?

I looked up contrite’s definition.  A contrite heart is a heart has turned around because it repents.  If you were to stretch out the blood vessel system from inside your body, it would extend over 60,000 miles. Imagine all the turns within your body that one single red blood cell makes on it’s journey to and from your heart? Our labyrinth pattern will look very simple in comparison. If a blood cell can do that.  Maybe I can.  Maybe you can.  Maybe the heart of the Body of Christ can.    

What if winning hearts for Jesus is leaning deep into the strength and comfort of God-Always-With-Us?  Jesus said, Truly I tell you, if anyone says to this mountain, ‘Go, throw yourself into the sea,’ and does not doubt in their heart but believes that what they say will happen, it will be done for them. Mark 11:23 | NIV 

What if having a heart of gold is what the writer of Proverbs 3:1-2 means when she/he wrote, “My son/daughter, do not forget my teaching, but keep my commands in your heart, for they will prolong your life many years and bring you peace and prosperity.” Proverbs 3:1-2 | NIV | 

Take this with you- what is more precious and valuable than peacefulness or being at peace and being fruitful or prosperous? Nothing. That is more precious than gold. A heart of gold. 

Wednesday, January 8, 2020

Hello Ocean

Hello Ocean, my old best friend!
We meet again on your sandy shores.

Matters not if I am six years old in skinny yellow bathing suit or twenty-something in a bikini or pushing fifty in a figure-flattering one piece...you welcome me just the same.

Open, spacious, massaging waves upon a beach littered with gifts of shells and creature discoveries. Really, you should not have?!  You give and give and give some more.

Hello Ocean, my old best friend!
Good to see you again...whether the Atlantic or Pacific coast, Caribbean island, or Gulf coast... you are different yet the same.  All the shades of blue are you.  Every mood from beauty and bright to dark and stormy.

Why do I always feel younger when I am with you even though I have aged?
What is this magic you weave that we are both forever young and playful?

Hello Ocean, my old best friend!
Your constant motion anchors me in beauty, hospitality, and wonder...

Goodbye, my old best friend...until we meet again!

My Detox'd Advent & Christmas

I do not know about your Advent and Christmas seasons, but I detox'd mine!

Typically, you detox your diet.  Get rid of the gross, bad-for-you-but-tastes-yummy-stuff.  Get cleaned out.  Remove built up toxins that inhibit your overall health and digestion.

Trade one set of foods for a better set.  Healthier set with high protein or high fiber or lots of green (maybe even organic) vegetables and fruits.  Fresh start.  Renewed energy and vitality.  Clean system!  Yay! Go you!

However, this past Advent/Christmas detox was not a diet for my body, but a spiritual discipline for my soul.  My soul just so happens to be a wife, mom, friend, writer, coach, spiritual director, lover of '80's music...and a preacher-pastor-overachiever-do-it-all-better-than-the-guys-kind of leader.

Before you think I am a church hater- let me be clear ministry is wonderful, exciting, challenging and invigorating!  And also clergy are imperfect people in an impossible vocation.  Ministry is hard, but good.  There can be toxic things, situations or people... but there are leaps of faith, mountains of grace, and inspiring moments of transformation too!

So it was during the 6th of my voluntary leave of absence, otherwise known as the "great leap of faith because God kicked me in the skirt to step out of my comfort zone";  that the church season turned into Advent, then came Christmas.  As I write this we are currently in my favorite season of Epiphany.

After all three seasons, now, I finally got it.  I got detox'd.  And have paused long enough to consider what my body and spirit just accomplished.

Instead of letting go of potato chips I did not worry with the worship committee about the proper amount and state of Christmas Eve candles.  Was that a detox of details or control?  There was no scurry around all month to visit shut ins and take them Holy Communion.  Was that letting go for others to minister?

No extra Bible studies to add into my schedule.  Could that be an invitation for others to lead or be lead in new ways?  No end-of-the-year financial planning to wrap up succinctly.  Might that be a challenge for accountability to come from another leader?  No extra scurry to squeeze in one or four unexpected funerals in-between Cantatas and Children's Programs and mission donation drives.  That was just a letting go of walking in grief with so many folks while self-aware of my own... sometimes what clergy carry is too much.  Simplify.  Set down.  Surrender.

Interesting how much more enjoyable it was to address and mail Christmas cards when it was daylight outside and not late into the night.  Heck- I was able to bake and decorate cookies with my daughter!  What fun!

More amazingly, doing that activity did not feel like I swapped one set of guilt expectations.  Mom guilt is real.  Pastor guilt is real too.  Stinks sometimes to have both.  Guilt A- How will I help my congregation richly engage spiritually this season? Versus Guilt B- How will I make meaningful memories with my daughter before she goes off to college?  No inner battle of guilt... just frosting, fun, and saturated fats!  Can you say, "Yum"?

The most noticeable difference in my Advent/Christmas detox was how I felt on Christmas morning.  I went to bed early.  I woke up early.  It was magical because the heavy fatigued stupor that has weighted me physically and emotionally on the last 25 Christmas mornings was gone.

Energy and zest!  I was ready to play the games, and eat all the food, and call the relatives. 

Huh... isn't that just what a detox is supposed to do?  Boost us for - what's next?