Earlier today I scanned through my edition of the United Methodist Book Of Discipline. For those unfamiliar with the brown and gold embossed tome, the contents of this book are what make United Methodists United Methodists because our history, theology and polity (how we organize ourselves) are contained in there.
Normally, I don't puruse the Book of Discipline unless I am in need of a sleep aid. But today, I searched for validation and clarify for my ministry as a pastoral leader. Did you know there are whole sections of the Discipline that out line all of the duties of a pastor? This job description goes on for pages... I was exhausted reading what I need to be doing. Visitation, teaching ministry, evangelism, and conference leadership are just some of the expectations. I need more hours in the day!
Rather than bore you with the details of the book, allow me to tell the story of why I searched in the first place. Within the span of two hours yesterday, I received two very different phone calls that certainly portray different aspects of my work as a pastor.
The first call was from a church member who shared the tender story of how her family member became more open to faith in Christ after attending a recent worship service in which I preached. This church member was filled with thanksgiving and joy that her loved one was talking more openly and positively about faith in Jesus as she quoted aspects of my sermon! (Thank you God!) We celebrated together the amazing work of God's Spirit and prayed for the rooting of these seeds of faith.
Moments later my phone again rang with the voice of a church member who shared her pain and frustration of what she feels she has not received in ministry here at Calvary. We attempted to work through those issues. It was not a fun nor easy conversation and stands in huge contrast to the first phone call.
And that huge contrast was what brought me today to inspect, yet again, the Discipline. Not finding anything there either spiritually fulfilling nor satistfying, I pondered scripture. All sorts of words then rushed in like Jesus' teaching to the seventy he sent out on mission and what happened or did not happen as a result of their work.
And questions came to mind, "Why are some satisfied and some not? How is it that ministry is fruitful in one vein and resisted in another? What enables conflict to be resolved and relationships deepened in one example and more conflict and anomisity to happen in others?"
These remain mysteries to me. I guess I shall, as the Psalmist says, wait on the Lord. For it is only God that can heal the broken and mend the hurting. And I remain one of those who is need of healing myself.
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