Women, Careers and Little Girls

Last week a pithy email appeared in my inbox. A mother from our congregation requested my presence at her daughter's Girl Scout troop meeting. (Ah ha- it is cookie time!) But no, this request was for career week. She was looking for women with unusual and atypical careers to visit with her small group of 2nd graders. I guess I fit the bill- a clergy woman.

Packing up toys for my preschooler we drove over to their house. Sitting criss cross on the living room floor five little girls listened to my stories of seven years of education, post graduate school training, vocational discernment (i.e. defending my theology in front of clergy peers), and calling.

They didn't believe me that being a pastor isn't boring. They thought it was weird that I claimed to have 'heard God ask me to be a pastor'. '"You cannot hear God," one mighty brunette informed me self-righteously.

Well, I did. And I still make that claim.

The best questions, actually, came from the other moms there. Did you know when you were in 2nd grade that this would be your career? (No, I wanted to be the first woman president of the United States in the 2nd grade.) What do you like best and least about your career? (a- Helping people get to know God better and b- helping people get to know God better.)

What has been the hardest part of your career? That question caused me to pause a moment.

I've had my share of discrimination as a woman in a highly male vocation. Not to say that hasn't had it's difficulties or challenges. Some of the sexism I have encountered was in the church, our culture, and even my larger extended family- I have learned sexism 'just comes with the territory'. I've got my scars and stories like my fellow clergywomen.

But really, as I sat in that living room with my petite daughter playing her puzzle toys and watching these grade schoolers- I realized that the toughest part of my vocational career hasn't really been the vocation. It's been about balancing a challenging, all encompassing career (with it's atypical schedule/routine) with being a wife and mother.

I told those Girl Scouts that day- that they can be anything they want to be (or what God asks them to be)- but the discernment (yes, I had to unpack what discernment is) is how they can do that well while choosing other parts of their lives like marriage and motherhood. They can have it all, but the better question is how to balance these roles and opportunities well, honorably, and joyously with their future careers.

Not sure what the Girl Scouts heard as they handed me my box of cookies for the road. Not sure what sunk in which they will remember when sitting in a future college religion class.

All I do know is that my daughter was not impressed. Nor was she particularly motivated because she declared from the back seat while driving home, "Mommy, that was boring."

Guess that cinches it. Being a woman pastor is boring AND talking about being a woman pastor is boring too.