Feedback

Have you ever wanted to know - how to tell if you're making an impact in the world?! I think I have found the answer.

Often the answer to 'how we're doing' comes in the form and kind of feedback we receive from others around us. Over the past year I have been the recipient of a variety of feedback as a leader, pastor, woman, wife, mother, and friend etc. Written notes, comments, conversations, emails, and discussion groups have been the various modes of communication. I have learned even more about myself and set different growth goals as a result.

I like to hear from folks about what they perceive as my gifts, strengths, and weaknesses. Criticism and rebuke are never fun experiences, but it can be a growing opportunity if I can get myself out of the way in order to grow. In short, we are all sinners in need of grace and as a Wesleyan I believe that I am still "...growing into the perfect will of God for my life" (i.e. sanctification).

Sometimes, though, a leader receives feedback that makes one go ..."uh?".

A couple of comments this past year have stood out among the crowd. I have been accused of being anti-feminist, unsupportive of women, and against women's roles of leadership in the church etc. Now, before you jump to conclusions, you need to realize that at the same time I was also accused of being feminist, promoting women's minstry beyond what the Bible tells us, and therefore expanding the role of woman too far from traditional and proper gender roles.

"Uh?" was my first response too.

Realistically, how can I promote and accomplish the exact opposite stance on one issue at the same time? That makes no sense whatsoever. I am not ambivalent on the role of women as well as men to be leaders in our community as well as church. My presence and gender speak to that lack of ambivalence.

What does make sense to me though is this... I must be doing something to make an impact in the world if I can cause opposite ends of the theological and social spectrum to be mad, frustrated, disgusted, and angry with me at the same time. I can stir the 'pot' as they say on both ends. What a great untapped vocational skill! Should I add that to my resume?

Therefore, I have come to view these two pieces of feedback as a compliment. They were never intended as that, but as opposite bookends of viewpoints about my leadership they must be. I believe they must be indications that I am doing something to further the discussion regarding the role of women and men in the church because somewhere inbetween these two comments lives the truth and reality.

I just had no idea until recently that I was so controversial. Hmm.