After a look in the mirror this morning, I noticed something different about myself. And no, it does not involve wrinkles or laugh lines or hair color.
The something new I carry with me is almost invisible yet, is noticeable too. During a laugh this morning with my office mates, I inquired if they saw something different about me today. After a good look up and down my frame and a sheepish concern to not mention the ten pounds I have re-gained since my mini-marathon training finished... they were left puzzled.
Yet, the change is there. Now I bear the role of a care giver for an aging, disabled parent. I can see the change if no one else does. And I am trying to sort out how I want to be in this role while at the same time not desiring this role at all.
"It's weird", has been my comment to friends. And I have not yet gotten much further than that.
But, I am assuming that like you do not become a capable spouse or loving parent in a day... this too is a role a person 'grows' into. I do not have to figure everything on the first day of this 'job', but perhaps I can try different things and discover how it is that God calls me to fulfill this new role and responsibility.
Already mistakes have been made by me. And there will be more.
Which is why I am ever more grateful that God's mercy and grace go before me... in all things including care-giving.
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