Looking Closely in the Mirror

"I am startin' with the man in the mirror

I am asking him to change his ways" 

(from Michael Jackson's Man in the Mirror)

As a prelude or movement into forgiveness, we must take the courageous step of self-examination.  Just as women need to perform self-exams to prevent cancer or illness, so too does spiritual self-examination prevent us from falling further away from God and a life of abundance.

I blame it on my uncle.  Originally, he planned on becoming a Jesuit, but instead he joined the Paulist Fathers.  Long ago while I was in seminary at Duke, my Uncle (Father) Mike sent a large box of books to my second floor apartment.

Seminarians already have too much to read, but my wise uncle who made it through Yale Divinity School with flying colors knew I needed a different sort of reading.  Packed tightly in a box were a stack of spiritual classics on Christians mystics and saints!  He fed my soul while my brain was learning to love God.

Tucked into that welcome box of respite from theological treatises and biblical commentaries was a little thin book which introduced me to St. Ignatius' examen.  (As I said Uncle Mike almost became a Jesuit!)  There some where between Cameron Indoor Stadium, Duke Garden, Duke chapel, and the Divinity school library (which always smelled moldly in the spring) I began asking myself questions.

I would look in the mirror of my day and ask, "For what I am most grateful?  for what am I least grateful?"  Or "how have I experienced consolation or desolation in my day?"  Sounds simple enough.  And it is.  But it is not simple, at all, really.

Asking these sorts of questions daily begins to have an accumulated impact on how I hold myself accountable to Christ's teachings, what connections do I notice between my actions and attitudes, and how I practice the faith I believe in.  That may not be simple, but it has become a practice of self-check.  It is the mirror that I ponder as I seek more of Christ and less of me.

I invite you to ask yourself for this next week these questions.  Journal or take note of your responses.  Talk with a trusted wise spiritual friend.  Invite the Holy Spirit to bring you healing and forgiveness.

See you in the forgiving place,

Pastor Michelle