Mortality

I suppose the responses to premature death vary as there are different people on the planet. Our family's latest brush with death has caused both my husband and I to reconsider all sorts of things we presumed were true.

Reality broke our home of illusion and now we try to put the pieces of life back together. Only I discover some things just don't fit like they did before.

Therapists who are worth their expensive fee call this integration or re-integration. Whatever you name it that is where I find myself. Re-integrating new and different data, perceptions, and reality into my life at 40 years old.

How am I going to live differently with these new awareness and realities? Choices certainly become more significant and weighty than they did six months or twelve months ago.

Not sure what all it means- but it will be great fodder for my spiritual director and I. More importantly and practically, I do know that I will not eat any less dark chocolate.

First Days of School

We've made it through the first five days of school. I am not sure who was more nervous; my first grader, her dad or me?! Never mind my boo hoo tears as she drove off on her bus or the mistiness in my eyes when touring her classroom for the first time.

Wow- we've made it to the big time.

Thus far she tells me how everyone else does with their behavior and what she ate for lunch. We've had one night of homework that was finished and initiated by her! (Hope that study skill lasts into college.)

I enjoy school and learning...maybe it's an addiction to new pencils, notebooks, and pens, but the fall start to the school year a lot of fresh hope and excitement to me. The possibilities are endless.

Gotta go, her bus is about to arrive!

In Honor of Rodney

August 11, 2011 was the last day of Rodney's life on earth and his first day in heaven. Heaven is better off than we are because we will miss his humor, friendship and strength.

On Monday August 15th we celebrated Rodney's life and tucked his body back into the earth that he plowed, cultivated and planted with his seed business. I was honored to organized and speak at his funeral service. Providing that special leadership was one of the toughest things I have done personally in my professional vocation. Not sure I will do that again.

Looking out at the gathered faces of my family... and seeing their somberness and grief tug at my heart heavily. I am a woman of faith and hope, but it grieved me to see the heartache on such precious people. My intention in my sharing was to make them laugh because that is what Rodney would have done. Thank you God- that I was able to do that and more.

The Holy Spirit really moved through me, the hospice chaplain and our guest musicians to create a meaningful and beautiful celebration.

I have chuckled since Monday that it took a Methodist and Southern/American Baptist preachers, two Pentecostal musicians, in a Presbyterian Church (which originally was Methodist) to create this meaningful celebration! Rodney, no doubt enjoyed that joke too!

Love you and miss you, cousin!

Oh Where Has Michelle Gone?

Over half of the eighth month of 2011 has past before another blog is written. Where have I been?

Sick. After 2 and a half weeks of ill child and husband, I too caught the nasty bug. You've been to the pharmacy way too often when the pharmacist asks, "So, who's got it now?" Mothers all can attest to the fact that when mom is sick she still has much to do... no laying around the house for days and days to recover. We get one good day of rest, if we're lucky. Well, I got two days... then it was up and going because vacation was right around the corner.

Family. After my sick week... we hosted my father and uncle (dad's brother) for a cook out and then drove up on Sunday to see my mom and step dad at their new church. We worshipped with her congregation (who provide 40% of the tomatoes for Red Gold ketchup etc.)

Vacation. Our belated vacation was held in high expectation because it was late and much needed.... but then when the time came to go, it was well...awkward. Word from our extended family was that our cousin Rodney was at the end of his life (eighteen month condition of ALS/Lou Gehrig's disease).

With trepidation we left for Holiday World...our daughter wanted to spend most of her time in the water park and we did. Never have I enjoyed a lazy river raft so much... our scalps got sunburned and our feet got sore, but we had a great time. My favorite memory was watching my daughter attack the waves in the Bahari Wave Pool and screaming, "Waves ahoy!"

On the second day at the amusement park, my husband discovered that roller coasters no longer agree with him. Thus, we finished our stay in the water park... floating, swimming, attacking waves and getting lots of summer sun!

Our trip home took the long route so that we could shop at the IKEA store in Ohio. And then we made it home... to do laundry and pack again for auntie's lake house where we spent the next two days on a nonfunctional boat.

I do need a vacation to recover from our vacation!

End of Summer

Our sights are set on the end of summer! So sad because while this summer has had some great moments; it was not lived up to it's potential of renewal and refreshment (the weather did not cooperate in this manner, at all).

Vacation (re-scheduled of course for next week), baking of chocolate zuccihini bread, scrap-booking, salsa making, and swimming are yet to be completed. Back to school supplies are bought and safely tucked into the closet. School clothes... will be purchased at the last minute (because she keeps on growing!)

I am not ready mentally for the end of summer. I am eager for the end of this massive heat wave, dry air, and pathetic brown grass.

What end of summer rituals or needs do you still need to complete?