Walking Prayers: Chats with God moving in the labyrinth of life

Running for God

2012-01-24T17:45:00.003-05:00

Is it a sign of progress when you lay in bed at night not sleeping because parts of your nether regions ache after a gruesome workout? If that is success... well, my aches and pains ensure that I am a genuis.

Or an idoit.

Why, I ask myself, did I cook up this crazy notion that I should do the mini-marathon this year?

I'd much rather sleep in winter. Hibernating like a big ol' Momma bear.

Alas, no rest for me, running FOR God not FROM God or TOWARDS God, but with God. sigh.

As Dorie told Merlin the Clown Fish in Finding Nemo, "Just keep swimming."

Just keep walking...and walking and walking.

Letter to Gram

2012-01-20T10:40:00.002-05:00

Dearest Gram,

It was way too cold for me to exercise outside this morning so I "cheated" and got on our elliptical. Made me think of all the hours you spent riding your stationary bike in your basement. I am sure cold and heat have no more reference for you now...but I certainly still feel their affects.

I would tell you how the family is...but you probably know better from your vantage point how we are all doing. We each have our stuff and we are dealing with it in our own ways...mostly leaning on God's grace to heal, redeem, and re-shape us. You cannot be replaced. But you are very much missed.

I find it hardest to decide when I miss you more... odd little interuptions in life like a random memory from childhood popping into my mind or seeing your empty seat in worship on Sunday mornings at 11:11am. Just know you are missed... and I cannot wait to be together with you in the kingdom to come! Not ready yet by any means, but knowing our reunion will be a reality is a joy of expectation in the midst of the lonliness of your absence.

I must confess I am having great fun continuing your letter writing and note card legacy. Thanks for the shoeboxes filled with cards! (Girl, you had cards for every occasion.) Not sure how long it will take me to use them all but, I am working on it every week. It is comfort to have them stacked next to my church office desk.

Oh, and all of your Bible reference materials and what not are scattered all over my office too. Makes me feel all cozy to see your handwriting ALL OVER YOUR BIBLES! :) I do the same thing too.

I'll write more later. Give all our relatives hugs from me! Tell them I need all the help I can get to establish my DAR status.

Love you,

Michelle

Retirement?

2012-01-18T15:48:00.001-05:00

My grandfather's grandfather never retired because it hadn't been invented yet. Seriously, think about it... when did regular folks in America start even pondering the notion of 'retiring'? My Grandfather Lowe never retired. He worked on the day he died harvesting his crop. He suffered a brain aneurysm one month to the day of his 70th birthday while driving his tractor.

It has not been that long in the course of human history or US history for that matter that retirement has even been available for more than the wealthiest of the wealthy. Anybody got some research on that?

Given all the financial circumstances of the past few years, I am beginning to think that the 'time of retirement' has come to an end. The sun seems to be setting on this goal as inflation grows and our financial markets continue to fluctuate so rapidly. At least how we have recently contrived of retirement is coming to an end.

For example, it used to be in the local church we could count on our retired folks and stay at home mothers to assist with weekday ministries. Many of our 'retirees' are no longer available because they are back working part time jobs OR are doing more childcare because their stay-at-home adult child is back at work to support the grandkids. And fewer of our mothers or fathers are 'staying at home'. Many of them are balancing higher education, part time jobs, or jobs that they can do from home. All of this means for the volunteer hours needed at church- we have fewer people who are available for fewer hours or blocks of time. Interesting change of situation, isn't it?!

Folks who spend their time researching career paths and what-not have already said my generation and the those right after me will have multiple 'career' paths in our lives. Few to none of us 'works' for the same company or firm or entity for the entirety of our working years. I am probably one of the few around who started in the same career and is still here (even after only 16 years!) (I always knew I was weird, but this is odd.)

Now I am not abandoning my goal of retirement one day.... but this discussion makes me stop and think about my future plans differently. Maybe some of my 'bucket list goals' need to be done now and not just put off until later. And also this makes me appreciate more and more those volunteers we do have at our church who MAKE the time to assist in the work of Christ's Body. Their generosity of time shows deep commitment given all the other circumstances surrounding us.

And I am pretty sure that none of us "retires" from the ministry of our baptism!

Randomness

2012-01-11T13:49:00.000-05:00

These tidbits are too small to blog entirely about... but are part of the randomness of my world.

Didn't know that White Pear Tea my husband gave me for Christmas would be this good! Yum.
Day 3 of mini-marathon training was slightly better than Day 1. Day 4 is yet to be determined. Do I have to workout in the rain? Is that part of the deal? How hard core do I want people to think I am? or am not?
Still rumminating on my New Year's Day question of "how is it with my soul?" Aqua comes to mind as a first response. Weird.
I am slightly concerned that I have new fascination with my daughter's iPad game: Zombies versus Plants. The only thing I think this confirms is my interest in becoming a Master Gardener. I am really not afraid of the undead. They are only annoying. And not real.
Tired of waiting for my book with Todd to appear on my door step... so I am moving on with some other writing projects. But cannot convince my first grader to write a book with me. She'd much rather kill Zombies with pea-shooting plants.
Desperately wants to finish my non-fiction reading so I can make my way through a novel. For the love of fiction!
Has started Confirmation class again... wow- and are these students going to challenge me! Double wow.
Wonders if the Zombies would be any help at all in finding out the information I need on my dead relatives so I can establish my DAR status....

My Search for the Dead

2012-01-11T13:39:00.000-05:00

Just last week, I got a itch in my saddle to start the process of researching my ancestors. Part of that I have decided is an indication of being in "mid-life" and the other part of that is about convenience. I know now is a good time (while my mother and aunt rustle through my deceased grandmother's papers and belongings) to gather the information I am seeking.

For some time the thought has been nesting in the back of my mind to establish myself with DAR or Daughters of the American Revolution. I know of two female relatives who were DAR's in their day. And there is family research that establishes at least two other revoltutionary ancestors.

I am woman on a scavenger hunt. And already, I have encountered are ugly roadbocks to the information I need, or the nonexistence of the papers I am looking for, or the answers to my questions. It seems that cousins of cousins don't like to share information or have the information to share. Sigh.

This will take more than perseverance, I believe.

But I shall not be detered.

After all this is about family! Dead family, but family nonetheless!

Prayer Journal

2012-01-05T14:04:00.001-05:00

Last Christmas, that is Christmas of 2010, my mother-in-law gave me a lovely leather bound calendar with scripture quotes, hymn texts and all sorts of spiritually uplifting goodies. I began the year in a quandry, I think I even blogged about it, regarding what to do with this additional calendar. It was just too nice not to use, but it isn't the style of calendar that my temperment type values.

Mid-January, I think, an idea popped in my head. I would use the calendar as a record of my prayers. Persons, situations, petitions, and celebrations would be marked on the days in which I remembered these prayers to God during my intercessory prayer time. Long, long ago in a previous period of my life I practiced this form of prayer journaling and it seemed as if 2011 was begging to be prayed through in this manner. (And as I reflect back on this tremendous year for my family... no wonder the year begged for prayers... rather the Spirit was preparing me and uplifting me for what would lie ahead.)

I am pleased to say that the spiritual discipline served me well in 2011. Daily names, situations and/or sometimes even a 'code' (I did that in honor of John Wesley's well coded diary) are written on days in the year as I prayed.

My learnings and insights from this practice are not gigantic change-of-direction thoughts, but rather quiet musings that are good on their own. For example, I have been so blessed by this practice that I have missed it during the first week of January. Thus, I have already adjusted my current calendar to include a section for my prayers & praises. Who knows... my blog readers may even find their names in my 2012 calendar.

Secondly, the only time my 2011 prayer journal became empty... that is when I stepped out of the practice... was immediately following my grandmother's transition into hospice, her death and the weeks following. I do not find this remarkable nor do I feel that I was unsustained in prayer during this time. Rather, I know how busy my prayer life was.... it simply wasn't the time to record things. Like Mary of Narazeth, some thoughts need to be pondered as they are prayed through rather than notated on a date of the month.

Nonetheless, here at the beginnging of the year I am writing my prayers down again. It helps me focus my prayer life. It aids me to remember others first beyond myself and also, draws me more into conversation with the Holy...and there is nothing bad about that at all.

Renewing the Covenant

2012-01-03T12:17:00.002-05:00

Because several of my friends partied too late into the night on New Year's Eve and missed my sermon on Sunday morning, I decided that this is the one time I'd post my sermon manuscript for your reading pleasure. I hope it challenges you as it has done with me. Happy New Year!

Jeremiah 31:31-34

“God’s New Year’s Day Resolution”

Let us pray. Come Spirit of the Living God and fall afreshon us. Melt us and mold us to your willso that there is more of your grace and love in our lives and less of ourstupidity. Come Spirit of the LivingGod. Come. Amen.

How is it with yoursoul? Notice I did not ask the politequestion of “How are you?” Nor did I aska casual version of “What’s new?” Rather,I asked the soul-searching question that John Wesley would often pose at smallgroup gatherings. How is it with yoursoul? It is a soul tending question…inviting reflection, vulnerability and insight. It is the kind of question that my spiritual director and I wrestle withonce a month. Often it requires that Ibreathe deep and stop and think. So, Iput this question to you…How is it withyour soul? Let this thought steep in your mind like an excellent brew oftea leaves because we’ll come back to it.

Ourculture enjoys creating resolutions for the new year. It is our means to reflect on the past andlook ahead to the future. This traditionharkens back to an ancient Babylonian practice which honored the pagan god,Janus (whose two heads looked to the past and to the present.) The most popular expression of this tradition4,000 years ago was to return farm tools neighbors had borrowed from oneanother. Anybody have my rake?

Today,we spend most of our January 1^st… with fingers to keyboard typingour resolutions that usually include one or two of the following: Drink LessAlcohol, Eat HealthyFood, Get a BetterJob, Get Fit, Lose Weight,Manage Debt,Manage Stress,Quit Smoking, Save Money,and/or Volunteer to Help Others.

On this the first day of a new year…with God’s grace new every morning and new every year… we stand at a precipiceof great opportunity. God loves us. God’s grace is freely given to us. We do not earn it, but received it as the giftof Christmas it was… so that we can begin again. We can indeed turn away from our muddled pastand live life differently in the year before us.

Each of us has regrets about the yearpast… shoulda’s or woulda’s or coulda’s. We all wish we could have done better as a wife or husband, be a betterparent, or have more patience with an annoying relative. Some of us know all too well the brokenpromises we made to ourselves, our accountability partners, and even toGod. How many times did you or I mutterin 2011, “Oh God if you only will get me through this… then I will….” But many of us failed on our end of thebargain.

I know a young man who had a toughtime in 2011 and 2010 and 2009. Histough times were the combined result of one or two random bad circumstances andthe accumulation of a series of bad choices he has made. He asked his friend after recounting his recentdifficulties, “Why is my life so hard?” Youhave probably heard the definition of insanity. Doing the same thing over and over and expecting a differentresult. Perhaps, this young person needsto realize… he has been doing the same thing over and over and expecting adifferent result and that does indeed make life very hard. Insanely hard.

Today we can stop our insanity and start fresh… with the bestchoice. A choice for God to influenceand impact all of our decisions. In thisworship service we will do something uniquely United Methodist as weparticipate in the Covenant Renewal Service. This is our moment to set things right with God, once again. To start fresh. To begin anew. To re-commit ourselves and our lives to theways of God.

John Wesley firstobserved this practice from his contemporary Richard Allene in 1663, who was aPuritan. Wesley found the covenantservice rich and meaningful, as expressed in his Journal: "Many mournedbefore God, and many were comforted" (April 1756); "It was, as usual,a time of remarkable blessing" (October 1765); "It was an occasionfor a variety of spiritual experiences ... I do not know that ever we had agreater blessing. Afterwards many desired to return thanks, either for a senseof pardon, for full salvation, or for a fresh manifestation of His graces,healing all their backslidings" (January 1, 1775).

Since that time… thepeople called United Methodist have been sharing this service especially on NewYear’s Day. One United Methodist writerfrom Britain writes, “This is an occasion for people who wanted to try to livethe Christian life better—which really meant to actually live out the vows ofthe baptismal covenant—to get together, have a time of intensive searching ofthe scriptures and prayer, culminating in a ritual of commitment”(Mr. Burton-Edwards).

The heart of theservice, focused in the Covenant Prayer, requires persons to commit themselvesto God. This covenant is serious. Individual copies of the Covenant Service are recommended for allworshipers so that they may sign and keep them as reminders. I encourage you to sign your bulletin todaybefore you leave. Former DISCIPLE 1Bible students will recognize the prayer from their 34 week studytogether. Later in the service you willfind this prayer… which we will pray together… listen now to it in itsentirety.

The WesleyCovenant Prayer
I am no longer my own, but thine.
Put me to what thou wilt, rank me with whom thou wilt.
Put me to doing, put me to suffering.
Let me be employed for thee or laid aside for thee,
exalted for thee or brought low for thee.
Let me be full, let me be empty.
Let me have all things, let me have nothing.
I freely and heartily yield all things to thy pleasure and disposal.
And now, O glorious and blessed God, Father, Son and Holy Spirit,
thou art mine, and I am thine.
So be it.
And the covenant which I have made on earth,
let it be ratified in heaven.
Amen.

Covenants are promises like marriagecovenants, baptismal covenants, etc. Each party or side in the contract or promise makes a commitment. The prophet Jeremiah finally stopped tellingthe ancient Israelite people the bad news of their failure to fulfill theirpart of the covenant… and began to preach consolation and hope to them. His message? What we read from chapter 31 this morning… that God will do somethingnew in God’s side of the promise… God will put God’s law or love or Godself inpeople’s hearts. This covenant was fullycompleted in the incarnation of Jesus Christ.

God will be our God that is God’s sideof the bargain. We will be God’s peoplethat is our part. And what lies at theroot of this covenant? The same thingthat lies at the root of the Covenant Prayer… God’s unconditional forgivinggrace. God forgives our sins, failures,and “our insanity”. I appreciate whatone writer said about this new covenant… "We are most ready to hear these words whenour own efforts are exhausted. When we are weary of our inner turmoil we areready to hear Jeremiah."

If you are exhausted from the insaneway you have lived 2011 … if you are weary of the manner in which you lived2011… and you want 2012 to be different… then let’s start again. Let us renew our promise to God as we receiveGod’s generous love in forgiving us.

Now is the moment to return to thequestion… How is it with your soul? Themost flavorful teas require steeping time… and so does this question. We’ve steeped it for a while now. Bishop Woodie White, our former Bishopof Indiana, writes about soul tending, “The question of the condition of one’ssoul does not require a response to others, but one’s self. It is not so muchan accountability issue to the community as it is an assessment of one’s ownfaithfulness and discipleship. Really, one’s condition. Not just in doing, butperhaps more importantly in being.”

So, I ask this soul tendingquestion not to drudge through the deep recesses of your soul… but to give usall some light in which we can each ponder our own souls. What is your assessment of yourfaithfulness? What are your successesand failures in discipleship? How is itthat you want to begin afresh in 2012? What scary goals lie before you that require grounding in the forgivinggrace of God?

Let us ponder this in silentprayer….

New Year is Here!

2012-01-01T17:41:00.006-05:00

Happy New Year's!! We celebrated with my Mom and Step Dad & family... (it was my mother's birthday) and then came home for some dinner and fun! Today is the first Rose Parade that I missed watching in about ten years... all because we had worship this morning. I am sure the Avon Marching Band did super and all the floats were amazing. It is a parade that remains on my bucket list.

After re-commiting ourselves to God this morning during our Wesley Covenant Renewal Service....I am ready for the new year. I had fewer goals... and more perspective. Maybe that comes with being 40 or at least with more life experience.

Here are my 2012 goals:

Complete the Indy 500 Festival Mini-Marathon in May (walking).
Be creative: writing, scrapbooking, etc (bi-monthly.)
Raise an amazing, intelligent, compassionate daughter.
Support and enjoy a super husband in all his endeavors.
Companion and care for parents, family, friends and church folks.
Live out my Vocational Mission Statement: Preach, teach and deepen spiritual maturity in others and myself.

Whew- not sure which goal is scary or biggest because they are all challenging. Here is to another great year!

Christmas Re-cap

2011-12-27T14:53:00.003-05:00

Now that my body has had a couple of days to recover... (the child woke us up at 3:25am to open Santa's gifts!).. I can finish my Christmas Eve blogging posts. Below are a few more tidbits about the amazing night we had at Calvary worshipping the Christ Child.

over 1193 attended our four services, with an additional 93 on Christmas morning!
our luminaries worked (without fire or rain) thanks to battery operated lights by Megan & Andrew.
special thanks to our Staff Parish committee for providing a tasty dinner for the Staff to share in between services. And for all those who greeted, ushered, and stewarded- thank you!
the Praise Band, Glory Choir, Welsey & Genesis Ringers shared amazing uplifting music at our family 5pm service. And we have leftover candy canes for the little ones!
Our Holy Family at 5pm was without their little angel. She refused to wear her costume (she didn't want to be a butterfly.. but rather be a purple princess. There was no convincing her otherwise. Her little brother who was born on Thanksgiving morning slept through her fit.)
I do not think I got to vacuum this year. :( I am sure I can make up for that in other ways.
our Brass ensemble, percussion and choir sounded fantastic at 7 and 9pm. (I got to play tom toms and triangle!) Todd's message was to the point and right on!
You'll have to ask someone else how 11pm went and Christmas morning... too sick to be there. I am assuming all was as wonderful as the previous services.

What a wonderful tribute to the New Born King! And the best part of it all... we were together and we were worshipping and we feasted at His Table! And all were made whole in His Sight.

Bless you these Days of Christmas!

Christmas Eve blogging...

2011-12-24T22:55:00.004-05:00

My intentions to blog tonight before and inbetween our services has failed... miserably. First because I found myself hunched on the bathroom floor certain that I would lose my breakfast. Chills, aches and pains, and general naseua came upon me. I missed our Christmas Eve luncheon with my father. Barely made it through the gift exchange and then back to bed with the chills.

I was feeling bad and feeling bad about feeling bad. But I made it through 3 of our 4 services before coming home... thanks to prayer and lots of water.

This is the earliest I have been home on Christmas Eve since 1995! I could not believe the traffic.

Our music, candlelight, message, prayers, poem and people were marvelous! I am so glad that I didn't miss any of it... Merry Christmas!

Time is Running Out

2011-12-22T16:19:00.002-05:00

Time is running out... in these spuds, who've been activated since Monday morning to keep time for us. Soon their carbohydrates will be consumed and we'll have to find another vegetable to keep time for us!

My daughter wants to try lemons next. I think a cucumber clock would be nice. What about you?

This is one of the many little projects we have completed at our house to keep busy and 'mark time' as we wait for the BIG DAY (aka Christmas) to arrive.

Not sure if a potato clock is exactly Advent-kosher, but it has proving amusing and entertaining to say the least.

Our spuds keep time.... and not even Idaho time. ha ha!

Pre-Holy Day Hoopla

2011-12-20T13:04:00.003-05:00

The countdown continues... 5 days until Christmas! Only 1,000 bulletins to print. Lots of music to practice. 75 chairs to add into the sanctuay. A dozen toilets to clean. 50 poinsettas to water.

You know the normal sorts of To Do items are being completed here at Calvary. I have one last Holy Communion to deliver before the BIG DAY.

But, lots of details to finish. Like my children's sermon, my prayer, the costume for the Holy Family, the fixin's for the Staff Christmas Eve dinner. And that is the just the stuff to to at WORK! :)

There are a few items to wrap at home. And one last gift to deliver. And lots of excitement to manage in our daughter...

Don't forget to follow my blogs on the 24th. As is my custom I shall blog throughout the Christmas Eve worship services... 5, 7, 9, and 11pm!

Grybai

2011-12-15T09:42:00.006-05:00

Here it is... the long awaited Grybai, a Lithuanian mushroom cookie! My father's mother's side of the family immigrated from there just a few generations ago. Apparently, Lithuanian's prior to World War II were an agricultural society who truly enjoyed their veggies and thus would 'honor' them by re-creating them in their pastries! Mushrooms were and are a delicacy in this part of the world.

You'd be surprised to note that actual fungus is not included in the list of ingredients... but lots of unusual spices and peels are. Like cloves, nutmeg, cardamon, cinnamon, ginger, orange peel, and lemon peel. Even honey makes the list.

I don't make these every year... and when I do it becomes a labor of love for my father (he always gets the most cookies to eat).

I tell folks who receive a cookie, "You don't have to like it. But I will be insulted if you do not try it." The taste is very unusual and less sugary sweet than most American cookies.

So to my Lithuanian family... all those Zanewicz's and Kallock's, Merry Christmas!

Advent Dreaming

2011-12-14T09:31:00.002-05:00

I am a dreamer. There is no doubt that I stand in the lineage of Joseph (of Genesis). Since my grandmother's death my curiosity has been peaked to discover if and when I might dream of my dear Gram. Many different folks from pyschologists to theologians have noted that after a loved one dies often the family and friends have vivid dreams of their beloved.

What a treasure that I dreamed of my dear grandmother last night... here in the midst of Advent (expectation, waiting, hope, longing, etc.). The dream was simple, but has left me with great joy and blessing this morning!

In my dream, Gram and I were together and we were laughing. You know the kind of deep belly laugh that exhausts you and exhilarates you at the same time?! Well, that was us. Laughing.

Thank you Holy Spirit, for such a gift as this!

Christmas preparations...

2011-12-13T15:45:00.006-05:00

Over the weekend I discovered that we do not have enough gift tags for the remaining wrapping. That and we have a few remaining gifts to 'go and fetch'. Santa better get moving and put together a few toys (and wrap them too)!

Otherwise the shopping/wrapping are done; cards are mailed; and my baking is half started. As depicted in the photo to our left... my daughter assisted me in baking 146 cookies last Saturday afternoon while the Duke Blue Devils played basketball with really a bad free throw percentage. Our baking attempt only represents three different kinds: the chocolate varieties of chocolate chunk, peanut butter blossoms with dark chocolate Hersey's Kisses, and triple chocolate chunk.

Tonight and tomorrow, we have two more cookies varieties to bake. That includes the traditional sugar cookies in all the Christmas cookie cutter shapes and my family tradition (from my father's side) of Grybai or Lithuanian mushroom cookies. These are very high maintainence and very unusual in their flavor and texture, but a real treat to share and they bring a big smile to my Dad. I'll take a close up photo of one for you!

So, happy baking!

Holy Conversation

2011-12-09T12:44:00.002-05:00

Normally, I did not share my private conversation with my Spiritual Director with anyone, but I was asked a poignant question today that invites sharing.

As we discussed and shared my journey of faith, I spoke of how much more meaningful Advent becomes each year as I age. My summarized sharing on Advent I posted on Facebook. That went like this: "The older I get the more and more I relish what Advent is all about! Bring it on- Baby Jesus- because you arrived in human form once we can trust the promise that you will come again and that time you will indeed: FIX everything, judge us with equity, and put an end to war, disease, hunger, lonliness, pain, suffering, ALS, cancer, brain tumors, mental illness, etc. etc...! Just thinking about it gets me all excited! Hallelujah!"

My director asked the thought-provoking question, "So what part of Advent has the greatest meaning for you?" It was a simple question really, but brought me directly into the stare of the newborn Christ child.

Here it is, my one sentence answer... (and I wonder what yours is)... "hope in darkness". Hope in darkness is the gift of the advent of God which brings me the greatest meaning and purpose in my life.

New Book!

2011-12-05T09:24:00.002-05:00

Just in time for Christmas... you can now order our book! Happy shopping and reading!

He Said, She SaidBiblical Stories from a Male and Female PerspectivePrint ISBN 9780827214866 List Price $14.99 Print Price: $11.99by Michelle Kallock Knight, Todd OutcaltAvailable December

http://www.chalicepress.com/He-Said-She-Said-P920C15.aspx

He Said , She Said: Biblical Stories From a Male and Female Perspective, explores a host of Biblical narratives from both a male and female perspective, offering readers a unique blend of thought and commentary on relationships, marriage, parenting, work, and aging—written, of course, from the vantage point of a male and female. This book is sure to strike a chord with pastors, study groups, and classes who are looking for a unique and engaging vantage point from which to explore the Bible.

Devoted to Writing

2011-12-05T09:10:00.004-05:00

Finally, after a busy autumn and early winter (we can say it is winter because we've had two snows, can't we?!) I finally accomplished a goal of mine. I wrote and submitted two different devotions to our Upper Room publishing house for the Upper Room Magazine. Now, I can expect not to hear back on anything for two years and three and a half days.

I have one or two more ideas perculating... so I may send those in before midnight on December 31st. If so, I will have overachieved at least one 2011 goal.... don't ask about my other goals I have not only fallen off the wagon, so to speak, but completely dismantled the wagon to remain in 'park'.

Now, I need to get my rear in gear on a few other projects...anyone know how to put a wagon back together? Where is Laura Ingalls Wilder when you need her?

Christmas Memories

2011-12-05T08:55:00.004-05:00

Harken back to the days of ol'... and I cannot remember any significant Christmases past. Weird?! Maybe I need to take more vitamin supplements to boost my brain and memory power.

I can recall Christmases with my Gram when I was young. She never used tags or labels on her wrapped gifts. Somewhere on the yards and yards of paper she had handwritten your name and you had to find it! Made the unwrapping experience even slower! :) Actually it is a clever idea.

I recall worship at High Street UMC the Christmas that the boiler exploded and we had a simple service in the side chapel amongst the soot and darkness. Kinda creepy, but in a good way.

My senior year of High School I remember doing a Live Nativity at Calvary with my grandparents and other friends. Singing in the cold on a street corner with people honking at you made the hot chocolate worth it!

My first semester at UE my Grandpa Grant drove down to Evansville to pick me up at Christmas break (along with 4 other girls and our stuff). We sang all the way home to Amy Grant's Christmas album on tape! What a hoot! Grandpa did not seem to mind being surrounded by young women.

Then... other favorite Christmases in recent years include Eric and I's first Christmas together... the year of Diana's birth when we were the Holy Family at church and our Christmas while I was on Renewal Leave was special for it's quietness and simplicity.

What is amazing to consider that each of these Christmas seasons (and many others) has had it's own joy and wonder... just think of all the good stuff waiting to happen in the future!

Gee... maybe I don't need vitamins after all.

Going for Ten

2011-11-30T14:30:00.004-05:00

This blog is just for the sake of having ten blogs in a month. (Something I have not accomplished since last May.) I give you warning it is about nothing like the TV show Seinfield.

I supposed I could write about all my Advent busyness and activities. Still addressing Christmas cards. I will install the stamps tonight while I watch a Star Trek re-reun. Lots of shopping and wrapping to accomplish.

Or I would write about the weather. Did you know it snowed in Indiana yesterday? Yes, and my family grilled steak in the snow! ha ha!

Or bore you with my latest strange dream or this book idea I have. Or I could insert my latest submission to the Upper Room here in this blog (which they will no doubt refuse because they would not want to break their record of denials of my writing samples).

Instead I have written nothing... but at least passed some time and fulfilled my quirky desire to have ten blogs this month.

Here's to better blog material tomorrow or in December- which ever comes sooner!

At least you know I will be blogging on Christmas Eve throughout our four worship services... ah gotta love this season- great stuff!

Turkey Day Re-Cap

2011-11-27T17:29:00.002-05:00

Yes, you can get two turkey breasts in the same pan, roast them together and have enough leftovers for 3 days. We had a great Thanksgiving at our house- how about you?

Our guest list was short with only eight people representing all facets of our family...my side, his side etc. Diana was thrilled to learn that SHE was the only person at Thanksgiving who was technically related to everyone there! Makes her even more special.

We ate lots of food, drank good wine, and enjoyed some football and sunshine. Super conversations without any family fueds or fights.

Everyone at our table was asked to write down on a piece of paper what they were thankful for this year. Then, after we ate... we drew out a card and Diana tried to guess who the person was based on the list of thankful things. It was a hoot! And very special to hear what folks wrote down... faith, health, family, meaningful work, humor and even 'problems that grow character' were on the lists.

Now, we're preparing for the next holy day. I think I'll bring a little thankfulness into my Advent.

Thankfulness

2011-11-23T09:41:00.002-05:00

I heard a quote recently that "Gratefulness is the heart and center of all prayer." I believe that to be true. So, in order to begin to pray I shall name my thankfulness. I am grateful...

For health in body, mind and soul
For my handsome, loving, funny, supportive and passionate husband
For my amazingly funny, creative and loving daughter
For my parents, parents-in-law, auntie, and extended family
For the privilege of four decades of being grandparented by Betty Jo
For intelligence, opportunity, education, and the ability to read
For the gifts fo creative expression in writing, arts and music
For my work community of fellow servants in Christ, laity within my congregation and all United Methodists in Indiana and elsewhere
For the Good News of Jesus that never tires but invites me deeper and deeper into personal growth and the fruits of the Spirit

What is on your list of gratitude this season of Thanksgiving?

Early Christmas...

2011-11-18T12:46:00.001-05:00

Yes, that is right- I am even earlier than last year!

Our annual Christmas letter is written and edited. Our Christmas photo card has been selected, printed and delivered. The weekend after Thanksgiving- I'll be addressing the envelopes!

Whee!

Turkey Preparations

2011-11-18T12:40:00.003-05:00

No, I am not the turkey. But, we're getting ready for the party.

Four stores and three towns later we found the blessed bird for us. Tomorrow the remainder of the shopping will happen. I am excited to host this year. Partly because I have more experience than the last time I ventured to host and because it will be a small gathering. Mostly I am thrilled to host because well... I just feel so darn grateful.

My in-laws are coming along with some food (she makes better stuffing than I). I hope my uncle brings the wine. I've got coloring pages for the kiddos and silly questions for each name place! The pies and breads will be my favorite though.

After we feast then the games will begin. Football on the TV. Bowling on the Wii. And Monopoly or Uno for the rest of us. A great day to be together and celebrate. Couldn't ask for anything more.... other than no turkey disasters!

I'll dedicate my wishbone to you.

Pastor's Report- Charge Conference 2011

2011-11-15T09:40:00.002-05:00

God is not finished with the people of Calvary UMC. There are more ways for us to grow as a community of believers and more ministry for us to accomplish. Here is what was new in our work together on God’s behalf in 2011:

Faith risk for an 8% increase from 2010-2011 budget
Two Blood Drives which saved over 180 lives
AIM weekend at Mountain Top
Star Wars Bible Study for families
Star Trek Bible study for families
Increase in missions giving
Adults in mission (Leigh Shepherd and Charles Torwudzo)
New Handbell choir for students
Growth in participation in Prayer Ministry (am and pm groups)
Special Men’s Ministry events (i.e. Soups On ministry)
Closing of kindergarten, which created the opportunities for more preschool classes

Here is what remained excellent in 2011:
Confirmation program
Ministers of Visitation
Casserole Club
Youth ministries (small groups, missions and worship)
Involvement and presence in BBurg Ministerial Association
Mountain Top missionaries
Theatre for Christ presentation of Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat
Brown Bag children’s sermons
4th Grade Bible class for parents and 4th graders
SPARC
SPARC’lers
Fish Fry
Women’s Retreat (new record of 35 attendees)
Angel Tree gifts for children
Operation Christmas Child shoeboxes
Back to School Apple Tree gifts
Andy Griffith Show Bible study for families
Trunk or Treat event
Easter Egg Hunt event
DISCIPLE 2 class
Jesus in the Gospels class
Book Discussion group
Women’s Bible Study
Book & Breakfast study
All Adult SS classes
Worship (weekly)
Advent and Lent special events and activities)

A list only tells you some of what is going on around Calvary. We are a busy church… using our facility, volunteers and staff throughout the entire year; seven days a week. We continue to welcome new members and deepen the faith of our familiar members. We too have experienced the stresses and strains of our larger national economic issues and moreover we carry the cultural baggage of being a suburban bedroom community.

While the surge of visitors from our initial move into this facility on this property has slowed, we are facing new and different issues around our engagement of individuals, couples and families within the larger congregation. So many things in our lifestyle today ‘compete’ for the tithe and/or offering of time and presence. This struggle for engagement through time and presence is where many of our families (young and old) live daily and weekly. This is both an enlivening opportunity and a fierce challenge for Calvary’s mission and ministry.

Most importantly, ministry remains fun, exciting, imaginative and worthwhile!

Blessings,
Michelle

All Signed Up

2011-11-07T10:01:00.001-05:00

As promised... here is my blog entry to prove that I have indeed signed up for the Mini-Marathon in May of 2012!

All I want for Christmas is a good pair of walking shoes, walking gear and some new tunes for my iPod!

Let the training begin.

At least in another six weeks...

Moving & Staying: Itineracy Form

2011-11-07T09:20:00.008-05:00

Even though my father was not in the military or the church, my family moved often enough that I attended eight different schools before graduating from high school. We lived in three different states during that time as well. I became very familiar with being the 'new kid' on the block and in the classroom. My last name at the time was very difficult to pronounce... and I am quite good at helping folks learn how to say it from five rows back.

As I look back upon my childhood, some of the moves I thought were fun and intriguing. Other moves I dreaded and made a fuss about to my parents.

I am sure there were aspects of the experiences that grew me as a person, made me what I am today and all that sort of good stuff. So, I find it intriguing that into this same sort of situation I made my way as an adult. Following God's lead into itinerate ministry as an ordained elder in the United Methodist Church. (No one to blame but me and God this time!)

But God has humor... because some times the spiritual growth challenge is to stay where you are and grow there. While Calvary is the second appointment I have served since finishing seminary, the bulk of my years in active ministry have been with this congregation. I am going on...(cough, cough) year twelve. (My tenure on staff has lasted longer than the average marriage in the USA. How sad?!)

My friends from seminary keep sending me their change of address cards... and ask, "Are you still there?" They too are fascinated. We, Methodists, are not known for our long term appointments mostly because of our history and our polity.

But in all honesty, over the past twelve years Calvary has grown and changed so dramatically that it seems as though I am in my 'fourth appointment' here. There were the years I first served here with Harold as our senior pastor at our Green Street location. Then what I call the "the middle years" that included Todd's leadership, my entrance into motherhood, our huge task of relocation and building, my renewal leave, and the 'surge' following the move into the new building. This middle section was so full that it was exhausting.

Now finally this third stage of my ministry has arrived with more subtle challenges and changes. The busynesss of transition and growth has passed (although we are still growing). It is just the raw newness has faded. We have more routine within our congregational life... and are dealing with different struggles and challenges.

When I reflect on all this, I become deeply grateful for the gift of my Renewal Leave. I truly believe that experience is one large reason my minstry has continued to be alive and fresh for as long as I have been appointed here. It is a gift that keeps on giving... to me and to Calvary. (Thank you Lilly Endowment for investing in the tenure of pastors so that congregations can reap the benefits for years to come.)

Many of my colleagues 'jump from appointment to appointment' as a way to 1) move up the ladder of success, or 2) find new excitement or challenges, or 3) because they are looking for a church which is willing to grow, or 4) finding the 'right church' to make the right fit. Sometimes the 'grass is greener' approach is a spiritual illusion that we chase. Other times our denomination transition clergy so much because they are lousy leaders and we just pass one mess onto another congregation without caring for the root problem. I am saddened by all this.

Often times it is most difficult to grow right where you are. (Think about how hard it is for your family to accept how you have grown and changed.) To deepen your rapport within a congregation and it's community takes a different skill set, sharpens other attitudes and behaviors, and simply inspires more prayer... it is a tremendous challenge.

And for me as a pastor and person of faith...staying in one place is a personal growth opportunity because of my itinerate childhood that I have yet to encounter until now.

I feel called and compelled to check the box on my Itineracy Form for another year at Calvary because it is the greater challenge and risk for me to grow. Ironic, isn't it?! And that's why I think God has a sense of humor about following/moving/itineracy/going where you are called.

End of the Year/New Year Pre-Panic

2011-11-03T14:38:00.002-04:00

In order to make the holidays more holy and festive I have decided to do all of my new year's panic and freak out early. I can be organized about everything- so why not schedule my panic! Far more efficient that way!

This week I purchased a new (floral design) 2012 Personal Calendar. Ever since the purchase my pen has been to paper filing in the boxes with piano recitals, dance recitals, church events, confirmation, holidays, and birthdays. This means I am planning and organizing the 2012 confirmation class along with Lent and Easter. Why I have even looked into next summer regarding our family plans along with Vacation Bible School!

And I can feel the panic level rising.

Especially when the boss-man and I chatted about volume two of our book series. (We have our goal of the end of May.) Ack! The blood pressure is rising already! And to be honest so is the adreline and excitment of new adventures. A new year does contain a kind of freshness like new fallen snow or the beauty of an uncut cake.

But all this leaning into the new year... does have me off balance. So this afternoon I need to take care of things for today- like the mom's never ending task of homework and piano practicing. Or the dishes. Or paying the bills.

Mostly, I am tremendously grateful for the life I am able to lead, the love I am able to give, and the joy of serving a Loving, Living Lord in this year and next!

All Saints Day Challenge

2011-11-01T14:41:00.003-04:00

Blessed All Saints day to you!

After all the candy and mayhem of yesterday, we're supposed to ponder our inner saintliness today. Or at least give thanks for the Saints who have gone before us. Mostly, I am coming down off of my sugar high from yesterday and pondering a new goal for 2012.

Today, is a perfect day for pondering. Bright blue sky and a shorter list of To Do items make this afternoon a terrific time to fill you in on my new adventure.

I am getting ready, which is amazing to think about because I can be such a couch potato and non-athletic person, to sign up for walking the Mini-Marathon in Indianapolis on May 5th of 2012. Yep, I am getting off the couch and start training.

A week or so ago I was thinking about turing 40 and this year of deaths within my family. The thought popped into my mind that a physically challenging goal is what I need to shake the cobwebs from my mind and spirit. (and maybe stay fit so that I can be around awhile for my family.)

Hey- if my childhood friend can parasail on her own, then, by golly I can walk 13 miles in a day! My time may be lousy, but I can walk that much!

So here goes nothing because I have now told more than 5 people. I am committed as they say.

But my first hurdle is signing up for the event.

I'll blog again when that is accomplished.

Grandparents- rock!

2011-10-27T15:01:00.004-04:00

An unforeseen result of folks sharing their condolences with me has been to hear of many other grandparent stories! Fresh tears have welled up in the eyes of these grown ups who've told me about a grandmother or grandfather who was particularly special.

Perhaps I should not be surprised. But I have been amazed to hear many other grandchildren tell their pride and admiration stories for a grandparent who was special. Lots of love is transmitted within these stories and tears.

I hope I have the privilege of being a grandparent one day... to pay forward the gift grandparenting was to me toward another generation within the family tree. Wisdom, love, support, presence, hope, and faith, perspective: these are all contributions grandparents make to their children's children.

To all the grandparents among us- you rock! To all the grandchildren among us- you rock too! Because the push and pull of this special rapport and bond is definitely best observed as a mutual loving connection across the chasm of time, generation, and life experience... but it is a significant bonding that links more than generations together.

So I say to my biological grandparents who are all now in heaven: Grandpa Grant and Grandma Betty Jo, Grandpa Michael and Grandma Florence; Blest be the tie that binds! I shall remember you to my children's children...

Eulogy for my Gram

2011-10-18T12:58:00.003-04:00

The following is the eulogy that I wrote for my Gram, Betty Jo Lowe-Krout. I wanted to brag a little about her because I miss seeing her every week in worship. I hope you are inspired by her discipleship as I have always been. We were both proud of each other.

October 7, 2011

Dear God,

I write you, Lord, on behalf of all who know and love Betty Jo. We want to say; “Thank you”. Thank you for creating, redeeming and sustaining Betty Jo. You made her a ‘good egg’. She is ‘a keeper’.

Lord, you sure did pack a lot of amazing qualities into a five-foot-two-inch body! You fashioned her with intelligence, caring, stubbornness, fun, love, faith, class, and wisdom. Betty Jo was comforting, joyful, friendly, creative, musical, thrifty, giving, and devoted. She had her quirks like drinking her strange concoction of wheat germ goop with gelatin and the billions of vitamins she swallowed yearly. But we love her anyway and are deeply grateful for her eighty-four years on this earth.

We are all blessed because of her impact and positive influence on our lives.
Lord, you blessed Betty Jo with family. She was nestled in the middle of her siblings: Anna Lou and Jim. Her parents George and Julia were entrusted with a blue-eyed daughter who loved dance lessons and music (she played violin and sang), reading and writing. They made sure she was baptized in their home congregation of Jamestown UMC the January after her May birth. She was also surrounded by loving, kind grandparents who helped fashion her strength and Christian faith.

Betty Jo’s early years were humble and simple. People would today call her situation: poor. Her modest childhood explains her later hobby of doll making and dollhouses. She loved to read anything and everything. She was a consistent letter writer. As a pre-teen she created and designed her own newspaper. Her childhood dream was to become a writer and/or journalist.

Lord, you blessed Betty Jo with intelligence and determination. She graduated from Crawfordsville High School in three and a half years. She was the valedictorian of her class. She wanted to go onto college, but the financial resources were nonexistent and there were few choices that appealed to her.

She may have never made it to a four year college, but my final year at Duke Divinity School, Gram attended my Preaching the Parables class with Dr. Richard Lischer. (I think she was the only grandmother to ever sit in at Duke.) A week later Gram mailed me a letter with the completed homework assignment that Dr. Lischer gave in class. The assignment was to write an original parable. I handed in her paper with mine. I am proud to say we both got A’s. Didn’t I say she was a capable writer?!

Lord, you blessed Betty Jo with faithful, devoted husbands; first with Grant and then later with Gene. During high school, she met Grant Lowe at a county Methodist youth gathering. He later drove his brand new tractor to her house to propose. They were married July 30, 1944. And they quickly gave birth to two intelligent, beautiful daughters. But their home and love took in countless stray critters (i.e. birds, pigs, lambs, and raccoons) as well as the eight young men who worked for them became “their boys.”

Married to a farmer and not content to be cooped up in the house, Betty Jo insisted that “if she was going to be responsible for the farm, she needed to learn how to drive a tractor.” Remember Lord, you made her stubborn! And she did plant crops and plow fields; much to the stunned amazement of her Quaker in-laws and family. Grant and Betty Jo were partners in love, life, service, and their family business.

Lord, you blessed Betty Jo with tiny, petite but able hands. And she used her hands to care for her family. Her Grandmother Dixon, a professional seamstress, taught her to sew. She took chicken feed sacks and made clothes for her daughters. Later she passed her sewing skill onto her daughters.

Betty Jo gently cared for her family in times of medical need and/or end of life circumstances. She supported her in-laws Jonathon and Jesse, her grandparents Grandma and Grandpa Dixon, her Aunt Ruth, her mother Julia, and her sister Anna Lou. Betty Jo was a life-long mental health advocate. She showed all of us kindness, comfort, and consolation in our times of sorrow or distress. Many times she has dried our tears. Gene calls her, ‘his minister’, because of the consolation and support she gave him in his grief over his first wife’s death.

When her daughters got older Betty Jo took floral design classes at the Purdue University Ag Extension. She worked at Brownsburg Flower Shop from 1965 to 1994. She received an Associate’s Degree from Ivy Tech in Nursing Home Activities while also taking classes in accounting and business to help with the Lowe Farm business.

Lord, only you know how many millions of green beans, tomatoes, and peaches Betty Jo canned with her hands over the years. Or how many flowers she arranged for worship every Sunday at Lizton UMC. Or how many sleeping bags she made for the homeless. Or how many prayer shawls she crochet’ed or how many preemie baby clothes she made for local hospitals. Or how many Sunday School lessons she taught for the Koinia Class at Lizton UMC or Seekers Class at Calvary UMC.

My favorite memory of Gram as a creative, passionate teacher is the Sunday morning Grandpa Grant was loading the car for church. He kept carrying all sorts of stuff to the car. Two trips later, I asked her why she had him put in a large planter with a rubber snake sticking its’ head out of the leaves. She replied with a chuckle, “Oh, that’s my visual aid. I’m teaching on the Garden of Eden story today.” Apparently Satan was the rubber snake.

Lord, later in her life when she was at a crossroads following Grant’s death, you gave Betty Jo the gift of Gene. What a blessing he has been to Betty Jo; giving her companionship, friendship, passion, and joy! Betty Jo had lots of love to give and her love grew and multiplied as she and Gene connected and created a larger family. Gene gave her the opportunity to play and travel on their wonderful trips to Hawaii, Florida, Mt. Rushmore/Yellowstone, and countless shorter trips around Indiana. Their romance and friendship has been a gift to all of us.

Finally, Lord, your Holy Spirit blessed Betty Jo with a robust living faith! She was a person of simple piety and personal prayer, but also a person who put her belief in God into action. Your Spirit anointed her with gifts of giving, healing, intercession, wisdom, teaching and mercy. And she used those gifts fully.

We say to you, Lord, thank you for your outpouring of blessings upon Betty Jo. We are very proud of her. And our pride and admiration are small in comparison of your great love for her. We, her family and friends, trust that You, O God, said to her a week ago last Thursday, “Well done, good and faithful servant. Well done!”

All my love,

Michelle (a.k.a. one of Betty Jo’s “sweethearts”)

Musings

2011-10-18T12:41:00.003-04:00

Rainy afternoon are designed for long novels, hot tea and blankets... not desk top computers, deadlines and interupptions. So, here I am trying to get the busyness and business of churchn minstry accomplished when my inner self is crying out for candles and fuzzy covers.

I have found day to day living a bit awkward having finished all the work of care-giving and the final details of funerals and follow up thank youn otes. The question unasked in my mind is, "so what's next?" How does a person go on living after a death, a life-change, the passing of the torch from one generation to another?

You just do.

Seems to be the only thing I have come up with in the past two weeks... You just put your socks on one at a time like you did the day before. You plan things. You hope for things. You cry when you the need arises within you.

The Enterprise on Star Trek movies/TV series smoothly transitions from warp speed to impulse power. Not so smooth is the transition from emotionally charged care giving and death to the new routine of live and living.

While it may be bumpy... I have discovered no one does this journey completely alone.

October Birthdays

2011-10-13T14:17:00.004-04:00

Maybe your family is like my husband's family. You have a whole bunch of birthdays clumped together in one month. We counted recently that there are over eight birthdays within Eric's family. This does not count our wedding anniversary.

All of these special events caused me to stop by the greeting card store. I inqured if they offered a bulk rate in birthday cards. No such luck.

Our daughter too was set to be born in this month until she had other plans and arrived six weeks early. I thank her every year that she saved us from ANOTHER birthday in October.

What all this really means is that the parents of all these birthday people were very busy in February. And what special day is in February? Yes, that is right, Valentine's Day. Or at least it was winter and folks needed to do something to keep warm.

My family is the opposite. Our large birthday month is May... which means folks were busy in September. And I have no idea what that means.

Anyway- to everyone in the family : John, Jim, Jane, Brittney, Greg, Lee Ellen, Eric, and Aubrey- happy birthday month. You've bankrupted me in cards! So there will be nothing coming in the mail...

I've forgotten...

2011-10-10T11:03:00.003-04:00

... how to write. Apparently, it has now been weeks since I last posted. Maybe my five followers have not noticed my absence because they were busy with their lives and more important things.

I have just been swallowed up in helping care for my Grandmother and the basics of family, work and home. But now that Gram is enjoying her eternal rest... perhaps we can rest up and give you something to read on this blog.

I'll be back! Soon, with more posts!

Blogs that Aren't

2011-09-19T10:25:00.003-04:00

I find that there is something oddly comforting about the sound of my dishwasher. My guess is it has something to do with providing normalcy and routine... or I just like the sound of swishing water. Whatever the case may be I blog today as my dishwasher swishes and hums along.

This month may be a record of the least blogs ever written in a month. It is not because I don't have anything to say, but rather there is a too much to say. And the stuff that needed to get done had higher priority. Here is a list of things I could've blogged about, but didn't:

Put my dog on allergy medicine for third round of itchiness this summer. He gets his own spoonful of medicine twice daily!
Uprooted and harvested the last of our garden crops. Carrots this year were great! And found a baby bunny living in our tangled tomato vines.
My husband's attempt to out-bake my chocolate zuccihini bread turned into a total fiasco in baking. (but the kid had fun helping!)
Watching my mother and aunt attempt to provide care for my ill grandmother has all sorts of material to ponder, muse and mull... could have been funny, or tragic, or poignant or weird blogs too.
List of ways to survive a Chuck E Cheese birthday party (that do not include alcohol) with your 7 year old and her 7 friends.
A non-fiction article on how to best edit your book while sitting at the hospital with your dying grandmother and snoring mother.
and a blog about the "pumpkin that almost wasn't". Our daughter has been growing pumpkins and watermelons at Grandma Jo's farm. Her pumpkin plant there had over 35 blooms and only one pumpkin!

Sadly, I haven't taken the time to write about any of these little adventures. I'll just trust your imagination to fill in the gaps that I could have written about OR I will simply mine these treasures another day.

Oops, gotta go. The dishwasher stopped swishing. Dry cycle is so un-creative.

And so it goes...

2011-09-14T12:22:00.003-04:00

After my husband and I survived the chaos and craziness of the kid birthday party at Chuck E Cheese...we headed home to unpack the car and prepare for the family cookout. All was ready and prepared and we were set to go, then my mother got the call that her mother was being transported back tot he hospital again.

The party went on... then later I made my way to the hospital for the upteenth time in three weeks (we have all lost count).

As I blog my mother and aunt are making decisions about the upcoming hospice care my grandmother will receive. We want her to be comfortable and with folks who will care for her best. All of us in our different ways and means are saying and preparing ourselves for the 'goodbye' that is coming soon.

Last week I sang to a lovely lady in our congregation the song, "Soon and Very Soon." I find myself humming that again as thankful tears fall down my cheeks for my grandmother's well lived life. She has been a tremendous positive influence on my and many others. And I know she will see the King, my grandfather, my cousin and her sister all very, very soon.

Soon and very soon we are going to see the King, hallelujah!

Soon and very soon we are going to see the King; hallelujah!

Soon and very soon, we are going to see the King.

Hallelujah! Hallelujah! We're going to see the King.

No more dying there...

No more crying there, we are going to see the King.

Birthday Arrival

2011-09-07T16:53:00.004-04:00

Seven years ago today I complained to my husband that I was "tired of being pregnant". My announcement proved to be a prophecy hours later when my water broke... and the birthing process began.

In between funeral and worship plans, retreat preparations, and the transition of my grandmother to a nursing care facility, we will pause everything at our house to celebrate a special birthday! Her parties (yes, she receives two) will be on Saturday, but tomorrow we will honor as the special day it is.

After I make her a special breakfast of chocolate chip muffins, I plan on going her to her school for lunch. Holy toledo, it is corn dog day! My daughter informed me with great emphasis that "lunch is a noisiest place on earth!" The social world of first graders sounds like an intriguing place to be. I shall put all my anthropology, psychology and sociology to good use tomorrow!

Pup Crisis, again

2011-09-02T09:33:00.007-04:00

Yesterday afternoon in the horribly oppressive heat I came home to let the dog out and work on my computer a bit. Earlier I had been at the hospital all day with my grandmother who was awaiting a heart cath. I was behind in my email correspondence and a half dozen other things because the firewalls my husband put on my computer prevented me from getting on the public internet. Thus, my day resulted in an impromptu family reunion in a waiting room. I don't mind catching up with my family, it just made me itchy to get on the computer when I got home.

I say all this so you understand why I may have let the dog stay outside a bit longer than normal on a 105 heat index day. I did check on him once and in that moment he was fine.

Less than ten minutes later I caught sight of him... foaming at the mouth, woozy and wobbly on his feet, hair along his back standing straight up. Poor thing. I couldn't tell if he was having a seizure again, or heat stroke, or some goofy neighbor had given him beer.

You've read about my dog before... he eats rocks, tissues, and Barbie doll shoes. Duke sheds more pounds than he eats. Lately he has been stealing my daughters half-ripe tomatoes right off of the vine. Duke's only two remarkable qualities are he doesn't bark and he is darn cute.

He didn't smell like beer so I am now assuming that it was one of the other two issues. After a day at the hospital... I was a mess trying to figure out how to help this 100 pounds of fur. Getting him hydrated took three bowls of water. Finally, I got him to lay down in front of a box fan as he slowly regained his coordination.

Then, he was fine. And I was not.

Mortality

2011-08-31T15:39:00.003-04:00

I suppose the responses to premature death vary as there are different people on the planet. Our family's latest brush with death has caused both my husband and I to reconsider all sorts of things we presumed were true.

Reality broke our home of illusion and now we try to put the pieces of life back together. Only I discover some things just don't fit like they did before.

Therapists who are worth their expensive fee call this integration or re-integration. Whatever you name it that is where I find myself. Re-integrating new and different data, perceptions, and reality into my life at 40 years old.

How am I going to live differently with these new awareness and realities? Choices certainly become more significant and weighty than they did six months or twelve months ago.

Not sure what all it means- but it will be great fodder for my spiritual director and I. More importantly and practically, I do know that I will not eat any less dark chocolate.

First Days of School

2011-08-24T15:22:00.002-04:00

We've made it through the first five days of school. I am not sure who was more nervous; my first grader, her dad or me?! Never mind my boo hoo tears as she drove off on her bus or the mistiness in my eyes when touring her classroom for the first time.

Wow- we've made it to the big time.

Thus far she tells me how everyone else does with their behavior and what she ate for lunch. We've had one night of homework that was finished and initiated by her! (Hope that study skill lasts into college.)

I enjoy school and learning...maybe it's an addiction to new pencils, notebooks, and pens, but the fall start to the school year a lot of fresh hope and excitement to me. The possibilities are endless.

Gotta go, her bus is about to arrive!

In Honor of Rodney

2011-08-18T10:32:00.005-04:00

August 11, 2011 was the last day of Rodney's life on earth and his first day in heaven. Heaven is better off than we are because we will miss his humor, friendship and strength.

On Monday August 15th we celebrated Rodney's life and tucked his body back into the earth that he plowed, cultivated and planted with his seed business. I was honored to organized and speak at his funeral service. Providing that special leadership was one of the toughest things I have done personally in my professional vocation. Not sure I will do that again.

Looking out at the gathered faces of my family... and seeing their somberness and grief tug at my heart heavily. I am a woman of faith and hope, but it grieved me to see the heartache on such precious people. My intention in my sharing was to make them laugh because that is what Rodney would have done. Thank you God- that I was able to do that and more.

The Holy Spirit really moved through me, the hospice chaplain and our guest musicians to create a meaningful and beautiful celebration.

I have chuckled since Monday that it took a Methodist and Southern/American Baptist preachers, two Pentecostal musicians, in a Presbyterian Church (which originally was Methodist) to create this meaningful celebration! Rodney, no doubt enjoyed that joke too!

Love you and miss you, cousin!

Oh Where Has Michelle Gone?

2011-08-18T10:04:00.007-04:00

Over half of the eighth month of 2011 has past before another blog is written. Where have I been?

Sick. After 2 and a half weeks of ill child and husband, I too caught the nasty bug. You've been to the pharmacy way too often when the pharmacist asks, "So, who's got it now?" Mothers all can attest to the fact that when mom is sick she still has much to do... no laying around the house for days and days to recover. We get one good day of rest, if we're lucky. Well, I got two days... then it was up and going because vacation was right around the corner.

Family. After my sick week... we hosted my father and uncle (dad's brother) for a cook out and then drove up on Sunday to see my mom and step dad at their new church. We worshipped with her congregation (who provide 40% of the tomatoes for Red Gold ketchup etc.)

Vacation. Our belated vacation was held in high expectation because it was late and much needed.... but then when the time came to go, it was well...awkward. Word from our extended family was that our cousin Rodney was at the end of his life (eighteen month condition of ALS/Lou Gehrig's disease).

With trepidation we left for Holiday World...our daughter wanted to spend most of her time in the water park and we did. Never have I enjoyed a lazy river raft so much... our scalps got sunburned and our feet got sore, but we had a great time. My favorite memory was watching my daughter attack the waves in the Bahari Wave Pool and screaming, "Waves ahoy!"

On the second day at the amusement park, my husband discovered that roller coasters no longer agree with him. Thus, we finished our stay in the water park... floating, swimming, attacking waves and getting lots of summer sun!

Our trip home took the long route so that we could shop at the IKEA store in Ohio. And then we made it home... to do laundry and pack again for auntie's lake house where we spent the next two days on a nonfunctional boat.

I do need a vacation to recover from our vacation!

End of Summer

2011-08-01T15:15:00.003-04:00

Our sights are set on the end of summer! So sad because while this summer has had some great moments; it was not lived up to it's potential of renewal and refreshment (the weather did not cooperate in this manner, at all).

Vacation (re-scheduled of course for next week), baking of chocolate zuccihini bread, scrap-booking, salsa making, and swimming are yet to be completed. Back to school supplies are bought and safely tucked into the closet. School clothes... will be purchased at the last minute (because she keeps on growing!)

I am not ready mentally for the end of summer. I am eager for the end of this massive heat wave, dry air, and pathetic brown grass.

What end of summer rituals or needs do you still need to complete?

For Our Eldest Treasures

2011-07-28T12:13:00.004-04:00

Thoughts befuddled, events jumbled

uncertainty your nighttime companion,

Do not fear.

For I remember when you grabbed the dragon by the tail,

taught with fire in your eye,

peeled peaches by the bushel basket,

and beautifully arranged flowing bouquets of God's wonder and beauty.

When the moment comes that you no longer remember

your acts of bravery, strength and fortitude...

do not fear.

For I remember...

and I shall whisper the tales of your heroism

faithfulness

and joy

until your new nighttime companion, peace,

befriends you, again.

Summer Reading- an Update

2011-07-25T20:08:00.005-04:00

One goal has been completed! 2002 pages read by me alone. Woo hoo, I am not a complete failure! I know this small victory will not make up for being a complete dork in the 8th grade... but I am thrilled that something this summer has worked out well.

Winston Churchill by Paul Johnson
Heaven is for Real by Todd Burpo
Mennonite in a Little Black Dress by Rhoda Janzen
The New Strong Willed Child by Dr. James Dobson
Forgotten God by Francis Chan
206 Bones by Kathy Reichs
Ever After by Karen Kingsbury
Pastor:A Memoir by Eugene Peterson

My daughter and I are working on her reading goal... She has read eight books by herself for the first reading program. We've completed 1320 minutes of reading for second reading program.

Friday concludes our local library reading program where we are close to our goal, having finished 189 books thus far. But the goal is 200... We can do it!

Ready, set, read!

Where has all the writing gone?

2011-07-25T19:42:00.002-04:00

I wish I could say that my lack of written creative effort was a result of being abducted by chocolate loving purple aliens who love to watch re-runs of Star Trek:The Next Generation. But I can't.

It would keen if my lack of writing was a result of a new surgical implant with a bio-computer chip that enhances my dance abilities. Dancing with the Stars, here I come!

Instead, the boredom of housework and home repair, the busyness of care-giving to sick and ill family members, and the exhaustion that comes from spinning my wheels in multiple directions has occupied my time and sapped my creative energy.

In other words, the writing has gone nowhere. Fast.

I guess there is always next summer. Or the fall? Or another yet to be named date in the distant future?

Too busy living to write about my living. It just that I had hoped for better material.

Caring

2011-07-19T13:37:00.002-04:00

Whew- what a week it was! In six days I completed five hospital visits, three nursing home visits, and so many pastoral care phone calls that I stopped taking notes! All that plus worship, sending off our missionaries, and a wedding.

One of the hospital visits was to my grandmother who had a lung infection over the weekend and my daughter has been very ill so our home life has been very hectic.

Taking care of the flock this past week has involved a lot of care giving, listening, praying, talking, and visiting. The experience has served as a blunt reminder that what I do is a people business. It is all about caring for folks.

And because my colleague down the hall was on vacation... (I appreciate him at all times!) my heart was overjoyed that we serve a church that is a caring community. What terrific support and help we have among our lay staff and our volunteers who serve as Ministers of Visitation! They helped me do the business of caring for people so beautifully.

Now all I need this week is a little quiet for a nap!

JOSEPH's Amazing Gift to Calvary

2011-07-11T14:46:00.004-04:00

Go, go go Joseph... has been lingering in my ear since yesterday afternoon's third and final perfomance of Rice & Webber's Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat! Just cannot get that tune out of my head.

I must confess that I am a closet musical junkie. One weekend way back in college my fellow musical addicts and I collected as many musicals as we could find (back then on VHS tapes) and had a marathon weekend of song and dance. During one meal that weekend, I recall being dissappointed that the folks serving us dinner at the college cafeteria did not break out into singing and dancing on our tabletops... what's up with that?! Surely they would have if Rogers & Hammerstein or Rice & Webber had scripted my life.

What a treasure these past three summers Theatre for Christ has been to our young people, community and congregation! I am so proud of these students... who have dedicated a lot of time, effort and talent towards each of these productions. This year was no exception.

Maybe we could say that the church that sings & dances together... serves well together?! Not sure if the Apostle Paul would buy that but, I do know Pastor Todd and I are fiercely proud that over thirty young people spent their summer thinking, praying, working, dancing, singing, and acting their way through a good portion of the Book of Genesis.

What a gift to have a faith family saturated in the Biblical story. Sure made my job of preaching exciting and challenging this weekend!

So, go go go Joseph! Til next year!

4th Memories

2011-07-04T19:49:00.002-04:00

Red, white and blue memories were made this holiday weekend in the Knight family! Some were loud, some were proud, some were patriotic and some were not. See if you can guess which one is which...

charter bus ride, fabulous music, great company, and big guns with fireworks at Conner Prairie!

over two hours at the vet clinic (ended with 2 sets of pills and lots of suggestions for Duke's on-going medical care. sigh.)

rainy, humid parade (lots of candy, people we know from around town, and traffic)

35 minute lines at the ice cream stand waiting for fireworks to begin in Avon

1 hour errands that ended up taking 3 hours to complete because we couldn't find exactly what we wanted

remember the time the 4th of July watermelon rolled off the kitchen counter and busted onto the floor? Yeah, I remember cleaning it up.

three nights in a row of fireworks and glow sticks! wow- doesn't get any better than that!

last minute playdate arranged so Eric and I could lay down 36 cubic feet of mulch

beautiful afternoon visit with family & friends under shady trees. ahhhhhhhhhhhh....

Those are my July 4th memories from this year...what are yours?

Summer Half Way

2011-07-01T13:13:00.002-04:00

Egads- where did the summer go? Because kids go back to school so early in August this year... we are now standing on the edge of halfway summer. And we're not nearly halfway done with all of our summer fun, sunny activities, events, cook outs, parties, projects, reading plans, nor are my goals near completion.

Oh dear!

Summer laden panic attacks are nothing to write home about... sigh.

Either I need to lower my self-expectations, stop getting distracted by other things, go-with-the-flow more, or bear down into high octane mode. Not sure which is more productive?!

Instead, I think I hear my hammock calling me.... gotta go.

What To Do... With A Sunday Off

2011-06-23T10:39:00.002-04:00

My family and I have a rare opportunity to worship elsewhere this weekend because I am taking a vacation weekend... and I find myself in a quandary.

Where shall I worship? Another United Methodist congregation of a colleague of mine? Or worship at a different denominational church? Create a worship service for my family at a park? What to do with this opportunity both excites and challenges my imagination.

Does anyone have any recommendations? Where shall we worship??

Shopping for Others

2011-06-17T14:11:00.003-04:00

Yesterday my daughter announced at dinner, "Momma, we need to go buy more food!" After a few moments I finally understood that she wanted to buy more food for the food collection as a part of SHAKE IT UP CAFE Vacation Bible School. Here's how the conversation went...

"Oh, honey, we brought our food in already."

"I know, but we don't have enough. We need to have 1000!" said Diana emphatically.

"Sweetie, Mommy bought our food in remember?"

At this point she stomped her foot, "No, no no Momma, I want to buy food with my dollars!"

You've never seen a mother move so fast to get her purse and car keys. We drove to the store and as soon as we walked into the grocery store...Satan or temptation or life or narcission took over because my sweet little generous daughter was captivated by an (evil) toy!

"Mommy, how much is it? I want to but that!"

I reminded her of how much she had, how much the food cost, and how many dollars the toy was. It was a pivotal moment. Toy or food. Self or others.

Haven't we all been in that moment... starting off with the best intentions and then distracted (by self or evil or both) away from generosity and self-sacrifice by something new, shiny, fun and for us.

Thank goodness Diana had a mom who kept her on track... she bought the food. Earlier today she earned more dollars so that she could go back and purchase her toy. She did both.

Don't you wish it would work out that way for all of us adults?!

Storytelling...that Almost Wasn't

2011-06-14T15:11:00.004-04:00

Long ago on a different corner in Lincoln Township of Hendricks County, I began my storytelling career at Marketplace 29 AD (that was our Vacation Bible School back then). Honestly, I cannot remember what summer of late high school or during college I dressed in my first storyteller costume...

Maybe someone from my church can recall... all I know is that it started something in me... telling stories, especially Bible stories. Who does not love a great story told well?!

As I prepared for this year's SHAKE IT UP curriculum, I promptly freaked out because of the material scheduled for today. I was close to hanging up my storytelling costume for good. (But I won't unless there is a young storyteller among us who would relish some practice...).

Leviticus! I mean, really?! A Book of the Law for preschoolers through 5th graders, what are these writers from Cokesbury thinking?! That is as far from narrative as a hot dog is kosher for Shabbot school! Geez. How in the world does a storyteller spice up a chapter of the law (regarding Jewish Feasts and Festivals from 4 millenia ago) for 4 year olds?!

We did it. Somehow or another we talked about these feasts and festivals... we were honest with the students... this is not story, this is about rules and organization/ wisdom and culture/ worship and practice.... and yes, this part of the Bible can be boring. Maybe some of them got that and maybe not.

Tomorrow...well, that is another day! I cannot wait to tell about how Jesus celebrated during the Festival of Booths.

Narrative or not, what has become fresh for me again this year is that WE are IN God's story of healing, redeeming, and saving people. Thanks be to God that no person is forgotten. We've only to tell our part of the story.

Fav Annual Conference Moments...

2011-06-10T10:04:00.003-04:00

Every day of Annual Conference our HUM staff publish and print a recap of the previous day's events... but here is my little recap of my favorite moments:

visiting with my family (Hi Mom and Tom)

seeing all sorts of old and familiar friends and colleagues

Thursday morning's worship session with Dr. MacFree (I wanna get me a walking stick.)

laughing with Katie last night during the final voting session (I hope I did not embarass her too bad)

hearing the best news in 35 years that United Methodists in Indiana are growing (in worship and membership)! It may be a small percentage, but finally we are hearing the news we are not a dying breed of Christianity! Woo Hoo!

voting and meeting delegates for General Conference

great synergy and energy at the COSROW/Women in Ministry breakfast including work on scholarships for women in seminary here in US and in Africa.

meeting new people... everywhere bathroom, meals, hallways, buses, walking along the street, in the pews! What fun to meet so many amazingly dedicated United Methodists.

Passionate Worship

2011-06-09T11:42:00.003-04:00

Enjoying the second row at Annual Conference during voting... but, what was most meaningful this morning occurred during the morning teaching session with Dr. Marcia MacFee! I learned some new things... unlearned more items, and was profoundly reminded of the artistry of worship!

Below are a few nuggets from the session...
Worship is transforming, powerful, invitation to be, ought to be M M good (meaningful and memorable).

Worship answers our need for ritual, need to engage, need for symbol,.

To be boring is to bear false witness- Tom Driver.

We need to be part of a shift happpening in our worship... we need to have the following:

authentic spiritual leadership

attention to journey of worship

making ritual- rich-ual

making sensory rich

thematic and seasional planning

Worship ought to be more poetry than prose.

Aren't these great nuggets? Don't they help you think and re-think about what we do when we worship together? hmmm... may need to make some changes in my plans for this weekend and next month. Back to the creative drawing board!

Helper Wanted

2011-06-06T11:01:00.004-04:00

My husband is accurate when he declares that I am not a good helper. Stories of Eric's childhood when he helped his father abound... but I have little of that sort of memory to compare. I am not trying to declare this as a gender difference... because I helped at my childhood home in areas other than with power tools: housework, laundry, sewing, gardening etc. Or did I?

The love of my life reassures me that my leadership skills are outstanding. Deligation, vision, hard work, organization, and motivation... these attributes and abilities are mine. But not helping. I have been fired from more than one home project. And truth be confessed, I would have fired me too.

I lack the skills and intuition to know when to bring the papertowels, which gadget from the tool box is required, and how to hold the level properly. Basically, I stink helping with any car, plumbing, carpentry, and house project that does not need Duct Tape.

From one perspective this failure of mine is to my favor. I 'get out' of doing projects.

But I am concerned though that my lack of helping is an indication of my yet to be fully sanctified Christian discipleship. Am I a good or at least decent helper for Jesus? Or does my leading get in the way? Hmm... here is something to ponder deeper.

The secret, if there is one in our Christian faith, is to be comfortable and confident enough in yourself to 'get out of the way' allowing God's Spirit to work through us. In this manner we help God do what God wants to accomplish in the world without really 'doing' anything.

Hopefully, that does not involve knowing which thing-a-ma-job to put into the what-cha-ma-call-it.

Summer Goals

2011-06-03T10:27:00.002-04:00

Traditionally at this time of year paper and pen are used for the writing of my summer goals exercises. While my first sunburn is not peeling yet, I still have an empty page before me.

Twice a year I write goals. Once in late December anticipating the start of a new year and again at the end of May before June starts. Wait- I just realized I write more goals than that. My District Superintendent required me to write my continuing education goals down this week. And my boss- aka the Donut Man down the hall from me- requires the staff write goals in January.

Even though usually all the goals are not completed I still do this exercise. Why? Am I that addicted to routine? Is it an exercise in self-humiliation? Or am I that much of a Personality Type A, first born, perfectionist, over-ambitious freak?? (You are supposed to say, yes!)

Who knows? And who probably cares... but I still write my goals. And try to attack them like I do my daily To Do List. Crossing off an item gives me a strange thrill even at 40!

Here are my summer goals which involve home, family, self and a bit of ministry thrown in there... (between now and August 16th):

Help Diana read over 200 books in her summer reading programs. (I signed her up for 3 this year!) Most of which she will read on her own or with help. We have to beat last year's record.

I will read over 2,000 pages myself this summer. How's that for continuing education?

Lose the final pounds that I didn't expunge before my big birthday! Which means more exercise in my weekly routine...

Play with my family (this is my best goal and one I know I shall achieve).

Finish Diana's 6th year scrapbook.

Start and finish Eric's Indy Racing League scrapbook.

Write several letters of honor to some very special people and share with them how important they are to me and to God.

Hug my goddaughter as often as possible.

Share inspiring, interesting and challenging sermons/messages with our congregation.

Write creatively every week.

Ten seems to be a workable number... I'll keep you posted.

Summer is Here!

2011-06-01T21:02:00.001-04:00

Today I officially received my first official sunburn! Woo hoo!

Let the peeling begin!

Covenant Group Homework

2011-05-27T13:08:00.002-04:00

Several years ago our Annual Conference required mandatory participation of UM clergy in small groups called Covenant Groups. The idea was noble and honorable... small group accountability, Christian collegial support,and friendship etc. But the instigation of covenant groups felt awkward especially since such a thing was required and not assumed or expected or even already such a part of our pastoral culture that we'd voluntarily do such a thing on our own.

Enough grumbling...my group met yesterday after we instigated the best homework for ourselves in the world. Typically, we have been reading a book together and then discussing that as well as our families, selves, churches etc. Not sure what other groups do, but this last time between our meetings we assigned ourselves movie watching homework. We watched for Robert Duvall films, The Apostle, Tender Mercies, Get Low and The Great Santini.

As we discussed the theme of redempion it because apparent to me that pastors (at least my covenant group of them) enjoy movies. That must be because our work is based out of the Greatest Story ever. Not only do we have experience in telling story, but we know how to craft language so that others feel invited into the story... probably isn't a bad idea for clergy in their retirement to consider going Hollywood!

At least for the popcorn privileges!

Day of Generosity

2011-05-19T20:37:00.004-04:00

Two of our favorite people caused our family to re-arrange our Saturday routine last weekend. And believe me- they were worthy causes!

The First Annual Tiger Run was organized in Shelby County at Triton Central High School (Fairland, Indiana) in honor of Rodney Monhollen class of 1984 (our cousin) who is living with ALS (or Lou Gehrig's disease). Over a hundred folks showed up to walk or run 5 miles or to do the family walk of one mile. All proceeds were benefiting the ALS portion of MDS. Just under $6,000 was raised!

Bless Rod and his wife Nicole, but they made it out onto the high school track to participate in the opening prayer and shot gun start! How inspiring and moving to see their children, baseball teams, friends and family, and Class of '84 alums all walking or running in honor of Rodney! A great morning...

...after our family finished our family walk we hopped into the car and drove back to Avon because our goddaughter Grace along with her friend Macei hosted the First Annual Give Back Softball Tournament.

Gracie and Macei were co-recipents of a Make A Wish in November of 2010. This spring the girls and their familes wanted to give back... so they hosted and organized a 24 team softball tournament along with a silent auction in order to send other children on their Make A Wish wish.

There was Grace running from one field to another as a designated hitter for any team that needed a run! Both she and Macei are inspiring not just in how they live with their health issues, but in how they practice generosity at a young age. Their event raised almost $11,000!

What Saturday of community support, generosity, love and compassion in action, and inspiration! Thank you Rodney and Grace for leading us all into a deeper way of living life to it's fullest!

Graduate!!

2011-05-19T20:32:00.003-04:00

There they are...the 2011 Calvary Learning Academy Kindergarten (am) graduates!

May the Lord bless you and keep you

May the Lord make his face to shine upon you

Lift up his countenance upon you

and give you peace.

Farewell One Legged Hugs

2011-05-17T14:01:00.004-04:00

With sadness... I share that our last kindergarten chapel was today. (sniff) Many of you may be aware that our Calvary Learning Academy Weekday Ministry board along with our Administratice Board made the sad decision to close our kindergarten program after this year's class graduates. We have had eight amazing and successful years...

Eight years for me (and Mr. Mark, our music director) of Tuesday chapel time. The students have held their own liturgy each week by beginning with the lighting the Christ candle (each student acolyting for the first time). We would remind ourselves that Jesus Christ is the Light the World. We sang songs and hymns, told Bible stories, explored the pipe organ and piano, talked about the stained glass windows and liturgical banners. But my favorite part of chapel has been hearing the students pray.

Nothing like listening in on children as they converse with the Almighty. We've talked about boo boos, sick pets, dead grandparents, fire fighters, vacations and birthdays. We've remembered teachers and staff who have been ill. We have prayed for our world and children in other parts of our world who suffer and are in need.

I shall miss their prayers and their praying. My Tuesdays will no longer be the same. Mostly, I shall miss the one-legged-hugs I receive from little people who have jack-o-lantern smiles.

May God bless and keep you forever CLA's Kindergarten Class of 2011... you will remain in my memory and prayers. Never forget how much God loves you and that you are prayed for always.

Maddox
Mason
Owen
Allison
Diana
Ryan
Nathan J.
Charlotte
Nathan K.
Joe
Jonathon
Aaron
Ellie
Calista
Blaine
Brian
Madylene
Anna
Dylan
Attica

Birthday Thank You!

2011-05-17T10:57:00.002-04:00

Calvary family- you got me good! I had no idea about all of your birthday plans!

Thank you to all who sent me cards (still reading them). The kindergarten students made me cards that are absolutely precious and I shall treasure their cards always!

Thank you to all who sent in gifts and tokens of love.

Thank you to all who threw confetti at me and watched me blow out 40 candles at the surprise party (especially Katie and Eric)! Thank you to everyone who kept an excellent secret!

I was overwhelmed with love and affirmation which ‘softened’ this birthday year! I appreciate your love so much.

Here’s to 40 more great years!

Love and blessings,

Pastor Michelle

40th Birthday!

2011-05-13T14:46:00.002-04:00

I have survived! I have entered a new decade and well, don't feel or look any different. Ha!

Because of my loving family, fabulous friends, super staff, and outstanding congregation this birthday has been the best ever! All the cards and gifts have certainly helped to 'soften' the blow of this birthday. (Thanks everyone for the fuss.)

The kindergarten students even made me birthday cards! They are precious. My daughter's card reads, "Happy Birthday Pastor Mommy I love you!" Adorable!!!

Now, I am off to dinner with my husband and daughter!

Change!

2011-05-12T12:57:00.000-04:00

Tomorrow is the day that this ol' body crosses the border into another decade... and leaves behind 39 years. sigh.

I must admit that I have had a tough time processing this birthday and all that it means. Fortunately, I do not have many regrets in my life... and I am blessed to the degree that I have accomplished many of my goals. What's next?- remains the big question looming over me.

At lunch yesterday which the staff surprised me with (along with hiliarious cards)- I confessed that I need new goals for the next forty years! (Also, I informed them that I would NOT post on my birthday an almost naked photo of myself as one of my colleagues did on his big birthday recently.)

All my 40th birthdayness is heightened by the fact that my 'baby' (of 6 and a half years) graduates next week from kindergarten here at Calvary UMC.

I have been a spoiled working mom. Ever since I returned to work from my maternity leave, my little one has driven to work with me every day. We've been able to have lunch together whenever we've wanted. I have helped with her field trips and class parties. If she got sick, I was usually in the building. If my daughter had a need, I know and trust all those who have cared for her and knew she was in great care.

Truly, I have been spoiled! What a gift this congregation and our Learning Academy have given me and our family. We are so blessed!

All that ends next week when she graduates from our Learning Academy prepared for public school and the first grade. (ACK!) To be honest, I cannot decide which is tougher... this birthday or sharing my daughter and allowing her to grow into her next challenge... But both at the same time is cause for reflection.

To My Mom

2011-05-07T20:13:00.006-04:00

At twenty something, my mom had me in the middle of the busy month of May in Speedway, Indiana. Yep, they worried about Indy 500 race traffic blocking their path to the hospital. For a variety of unplanned reasons I was the only child my parents had. So because of me my mother is a mom.

I give her credit because she gave me (along with my father) all the essentials a kid needs: food, shelter, health care, love & attention. She also made sure I had music, creativity and joy. She was my Girl Scout leader, Sunday School teacher and Band Booster parent.

My Mom also made sure I had Jesus. And the longer I live the more and more grateful I am that she not only told me about Jesus, taught me to pray, read to me the Bible, sang spiritual songs & hymns to me, and took me to church, but more than that my Mom showed me what an engaging relationship with the Creator of the Universe is like.

Just as she feed me vitamins which I later hid in the houseplants; my mother walked me into the world of conversations with the supernatural and Divine.

With that sort of treasure.. flowers and candy don't seem to 'cut it' as an appreciation gift.

Instead, tonight I shall a little pray of thanks for my Mom... and pray for mothers everywhere that they too will model and invite their children into a relationship of faith.

God bless you Mom. I love you.

And God bless mothers everywhere!

All in a Day's Work

2011-05-06T12:34:00.003-04:00

Earlier today I scanned through my edition of the United Methodist Book Of Discipline. For those unfamiliar with the brown and gold embossed tome, the contents of this book are what make United Methodists United Methodists because our history, theology and polity (how we organize ourselves) are contained in there.

Normally, I don't puruse the Book of Discipline unless I am in need of a sleep aid. But today, I searched for validation and clarify for my ministry as a pastoral leader. Did you know there are whole sections of the Discipline that out line all of the duties of a pastor? This job description goes on for pages... I was exhausted reading what I need to be doing. Visitation, teaching ministry, evangelism, and conference leadership are just some of the expectations. I need more hours in the day!

Rather than bore you with the details of the book, allow me to tell the story of why I searched in the first place. Within the span of two hours yesterday, I received two very different phone calls that certainly portray different aspects of my work as a pastor.

The first call was from a church member who shared the tender story of how her family member became more open to faith in Christ after attending a recent worship service in which I preached. This church member was filled with thanksgiving and joy that her loved one was talking more openly and positively about faith in Jesus as she quoted aspects of my sermon! (Thank you God!) We celebrated together the amazing work of God's Spirit and prayed for the rooting of these seeds of faith.

Moments later my phone again rang with the voice of a church member who shared her pain and frustration of what she feels she has not received in ministry here at Calvary. We attempted to work through those issues. It was not a fun nor easy conversation and stands in huge contrast to the first phone call.

And that huge contrast was what brought me today to inspect, yet again, the Discipline. Not finding anything there either spiritually fulfilling nor satistfying, I pondered scripture. All sorts of words then rushed in like Jesus' teaching to the seventy he sent out on mission and what happened or did not happen as a result of their work.

And questions came to mind, "Why are some satisfied and some not? How is it that ministry is fruitful in one vein and resisted in another? What enables conflict to be resolved and relationships deepened in one example and more conflict and anomisity to happen in others?"

These remain mysteries to me. I guess I shall, as the Psalmist says, wait on the Lord. For it is only God that can heal the broken and mend the hurting. And I remain one of those who is need of healing myself.

Made it!

2011-05-03T14:23:00.003-04:00

After moments of doubt and high expectations for disaster... we have now arrived safely in May.

Our accomplishment means that either time has marched on without me or... we've successfully finished Holy Week, Confirmation, and DISCIPLE Bible for another year. Whew- put butter on me because I am toast!

My next goals are to lose 5 pounds before my birthday in 10 days... think I can do it?! I am not striving for Todd's amazing 50th birthday challenge (nor will I share such revealing photos on my blog... my husband would have a FIT!), but I do have a cute dress that I really want to not just 'fit into', but look stunning in... (that is my goal for this ahem... 40th birthday).

What I have not decided is if this will be 'fabulous forties' or 'fancy forties' or 'fiscal forties'. With my cute new dress staring at me every time I enter my walk-in closet... maybe this will be my "foxy forties". ha ha!

I'll let you know how it goes...

;)

1 Day Until Confirmation and Hours Before Creek Baptisms

2011-04-30T08:41:00.002-04:00

Tired. Must move...fingers.

All is now complete... we just need good weather for this evening (and warm dry towels)!

All is done in the details...now we just need the Holy Spirit to show up... been asking and requesting the Divine Presence all week to arrive on time!

And then at 12:05pm on Sunday afternoon this shepherdess/pastor will go home and nap. sigh.

3 Days Until Confirmation Sunday

2011-04-28T11:30:00.003-04:00

Our creek is swollen three times it's normal size and the water current is about 10 miles per hour. Don't ask how cold the water temperature is because I just thawed my fingers enough to write this blog.

Egads - this will be a memorable baptism experience on Saturday!

In fact this entire confirmation program has been memorable in ways we've not yet seen in recent past. What stands out in my mind this year have been the deeper questions we've pondered... a student deciding not to be baptized and confirmed because she realizes she is not quite ready 'to go public with her faith'. She did not want to do an empty ritual. (wow- gotta admire her honesty and integrity)

Student from another congregation in our area who after completing all the necessary aspects of the program will be baptized within their home church, yet feeling torn because of the camaraderie and community we've experienced together. His eyes lit up like Christmas tree lights when we told him, 'he'd always have a home here'.

Student who desires to dig deeper in her faith and show her commitment to Christ in a different and yet separate way from how her parent's have guided her. She wants to show God that she is the one now choosing her faith... so we will re-affirm her baptism in the creek.

Not only have the students inspired and stretched my theological imagination (in other words they'd made me earn my keep this year), but I am equally impressed by the caring commitment our mentors make with our students. Wow- we have some amazing mentors because the stories and reports our confirmands tells us... influence, impact, advice, wisdom, love, care... these mentors have POURED into their students.... it is such a blessing!

Labor of love- that is what this is. A labor of love to make disciples and not church members.

No wonder the creek is swollen because my heart is overflowing with pride, joy and love as well.

No Post-Easter Let Down for Me!

2011-04-26T18:49:00.004-04:00

After over thousand people in worship (Saturday and Sunday)- you'd think I'd take some well-deserved time off. Or at least slow down a little.

Ha! I am trying to overachieve my way to crazy-ville!

It is 5 days and counting until Confirmation Sunday. We've got 7 interviews to go. Four baptisms in the creek on Saturday (there will be a plethora of water. may have to weigh down the baptismal candidates so they do not float away). And I've got a large amount of behind-the-scenes details to finish before this weekend (like my sermon)! I love making disciples and not church members.

But besides that small little event (ha ha), today my Bible study and I celebrated our final DISCIPLE Bible class today! Whoopee... in the Word and into the world was our theme. And now, with our priorities re-aligned we're all set to be DISCIPLES of Christ in the world.

Then, tonight I've got to finish my casserole for tomorrow's volunteer brunch at church. I am blessed with the help of our entire staff on this one, but I guess I am running 'point' as they say.

Sometime during the day I shall sneak off and complete a special errand in honor of our church administrator, Fay, (Wednesday is Secretary's Day, or now they call it Administrative Assistant's Week). Gotta keep the gifts and cards flowing...

So, for all those folks who think pastors ONLY WORK SUNDAYS or ONLY WORK DURING Christmas and Easter- I say, "Are you kidding?!!"

I'll take time off later... like either when I am dead or this summer which ever comes sooner.

Kingdoms Not of this World

2011-04-21T12:52:00.002-04:00

Yesterday one of my friends and colleagues gave me a letter while I was folding costumes for another church to use in their Good Friday drama. The opening paragraph provides an succinct summary of our current situation in America...

"Our congregations are caught in the crucible of a nation which is trying to redefine itself economically and politically. She is engaging in multiple conflicts as well as attempting to compete with nations who are using sovereign wealth to achieve world dominance. Every time we go to the gas pump we become more and more aware of this."

My friend has captured the condition of our situation. A sad and unsettling description.

Which makes me all the more glad of something the-man-down-the-hall reminded me of (aka Todd). My colleague reminded me that we, Easter people, are pilgrim people. We are not for this world. O yes, we live in it and make witness of Christ in this world, but this world ultimately is not ours, but our Lord's to handle, solve, resolve, heal and redeem.

Moreover, we need not look to Caesar or the President, the Senate or the House of Representatives to solve our problems. We, who believe in the message of Easter, look instead into the eyes of the One who is risen from the dead; who has been to hell and back. He is the source of our solutions.

This Thursday before Easter- I shall look into the eyes of our Savior at the table with all my fellow believers... and wait on him to pass his broken body for our healing and to share the cup of his blood for our redemption.

Come, Lord Jesus, come our world needs you.

How to Survive Holy Week- What You'll Need

2011-04-19T13:18:00.005-04:00

Protein bars and chocolate. But if you've given up chocolate for Lent you've completely messed things up. So, try alcohol unless you're trying not to aid someone else's addiction then just stick with cheeseburgers so that you can have a heart attack during the Good Friday service therefore increasing attendance by the EMT's who come with their sirens blazing.

Lots of bulletins. You need to create, edit, and then print with as many mistakes and typos as possible in your bulletins to give people who never ever come to worship something to do during the anthems.

Something to go terribly wrong with your building. Like the lights not working or a fire. Flash floods are hard to arrange since the great 'ark/rainbow' incident of Genesis.

Staff to become ill or temporarily disabled. This is tricky to accomplish, but it might be good if the flu went around your staff or at least some sort of digestive disease that no one can diagnosis soon enough.

Stinky flowers. Order as many smelly spring flowers so that all the people who have allergies come to worship on Easter will hate it and therefore never bother to return again until Christmas when you have stinky poinsettas and evergreens.

Indulgent foods. Make sure for the Maundy Thursday service you have stale hard to break bread for Communion. Therefore folks will not longer be interested in Jesus and presume he is as stale and unyeilding as this bread (it wil help you cut down on next year's attendance). Also, if you serve an Easter brunch make sure the food is unedible and looks unappealling. Makes clean up easier later when you drop everything off at the food bank.

Make sure you fail to sign people up to greet, usher, and host any of these special worship services. The less friendly people and less times someone new comes in contact with your people the better. Saves you time and money because who'd want their church to grow, anyway?

Boring music, dull sermons, ugly people... all of these points should be understood. everyone is more interested anyway in their socceer, baseball, senior year, prom, karate, and music lessons to worry much about God, Jesus, salvation, hope, and joy. So if the people are not interested, then by all means cancel choir practices and put only 10 minutes of study into your sermons.

I hope by now you realize that I really don't recommend any of these things in order to survive Holy Week or as some church workers call it, Hell Week. Each of us in spite of the busyness and long To Do lists must find ways and means to sit and soak in the mysteries of what this week brings for Christians around the world.

May you thrive in this Holy Week and not just survive!

Bragging on Confirmation Graduates

2011-04-19T13:04:00.003-04:00

Hard to argue with a real-live, normal, good-looking, articulate, and funny person who has a God-testimony, isn't it?

That is what our current confirmands discovered on Sunday in our last class of this year. Sure they put their heads down when us teachers, Andrew and I, talked about faith. Their eyes wandered and drooped. They doodled in their notebooks when we spoke the Christian faith is a lifestyle. They 'tuned us out' as best they could when talked about the spiritual disciplines a person needs to participate in in order for their faith to stay vibrant, engaged and alive.

But, all that stopped when four guests started talking. They looked up. The confirmands made eye contact. They paid attention when graduates of previous confirmation classes from 1998 to 2007 were in attendance in our class.

Who cares whether they heard me explain the importance of Bible study, but when a high school junior talks about how she reads the Bible and how it helps her in school- they paid attention.

Who cares whether they heard Andrew describe the four essential parts of corporate worship and how and why those aspects are important, but when a 20-something guy talks about his Bible study and why he sings in the Praise Choir because he wants a relationship with God and doesn't want to be alone- our confirmands were the sponges as the words were the water!

They heard four young people talk about how before Confirmation they hated coming to church and didn't see the point, but that their confirmation class/experience taught them and helped them realize that now they WANT to be in church and be involved. I got glory bumps it was so amazing!

I thank God that Calvary UMC has so many amazing graduates of Confirmation who every day live their lives for Christ... so that they can be transparent examples of the faith and do the 'teaching' that Andrew and I cannot do. Our current confirmation students will remember what our four guests said in 10 minutes, but forget what we taught during the other 50 minutes.

And- that is okay by me. I'll plant a seed and find joy in the person(s) who comes along and waters as long as God gets the glory!

Baptism, Once

2011-04-14T13:18:00.003-04:00

Tuesday in our DISCIPLE Bible class one of the students asked, "So what's the deal with the United Methodist rule on baptism only once?" Here is my response...

• Baptism as a sacrament is an outward sign of a inward grace. Something we do publicly with normal every things (like water and people) that means something sacred/special and theological about our relationship to God and God’s relationship to us.

• Baptism is about forgiveness of sins, regeneration of new life, initiation into the Body of Christ, rejection of evil and sin, new birth through water and Spirit, AND work of the Holy Spirit to grant Spiritual gifts for the benefit of the congregation. (All these I can give you Biblical references to if you want them.)

• Baptism for infants, youth and adults is more about what God has done, is doing, and will ever do than about the person receiving baptism. This is where our Wesley emphasis on prevenient grace is very important. We believe that God’s forgiveness, mercy and love PRECEED us throughout our lives.. going before us to woo us towards God’s love. This is especially highlighted when we baptize children declaring very boldly that God’s love goes before (and with) this child throughout his/her life to draw him/her closer to God’s love.

If we believe these things about baptism then why do baptism again? If we would re-baptize does it activate/motivate God to love a person more? NO! Does it mean God has forgiven a person more or less? NO! Does it mean that the person being baptized again is more holy, more secure in their relationship with God? NO!

My experience over the years tells me that when folks seek baptism again is it not about an impoverished theology of who God is or what God is doing in the sacrament itself, but is it more about how that person is thinking and what has been happening in their life. Many times folks want a ‘memory’ of their baptism. This seems to be important for them. (They do not seem to pay attention that God has a memory about their baptism and wouldn’t God’s memory of it take precedent over a human’s memory?!)

It seems these folks want a re-dedication. They are seeking a moment of decision. Wouldn’t that moment of decision happen before the act/ritual of ‘rebaptism’ anyway?

Please do not misunderstand me- I think that moments of re-dedication, re-newal, re-commitment are VERY important along the way. I have found within my marriage that I often reclaim and recommit myself to my spouse. So why wouldn’t I do that in my loyalty towards God?

Perhaps if folks are seeking a vehicle to re-commit themselves then we need to incorporate that in our service of Holy Communion, or in call to prayer at the kneeling rail in worship to re-commit, or to simply invite folks throughout their journeys that when they feel inspired to re-dedicate themselves- that they do so in acts of service, kindness, giving and/or generosity.

When we offer an Baptism Re-newal service we use water in some way and say to folks, “Remember your baptism and be thankful.” I often tell the confirmands that we are not asking them to conjure up a memory of the event of their baptism… rather we are asking them to remember what they are a baptized person. Remember what God has done and is doing in your life. Remember God has a claim on you. Remember God forgives you and loves you. Remember to whom you belong.

Remember your baptism and be thankful!

Big B-Day

2011-04-08T14:45:00.003-04:00

On this sunny, April day our yellow lab was born. We had been awaiting his arrival with great anticipation and joy. Never heard much from the mother about how difficulty or easy her labor was. She was an experienced mother though. So I am hopeful all was simple and without trama. The trama came when the mutt arrived in our lives! He tried to eat the deck. Our Duke pup got stuck under the deck. And he cried so pitifully the first few nights away from his litter that your heart broke into a trillion pieces hearing his whimpers. Months later after being house broken we took him to puppy school. Actually, I took him to puppy school. Never knew that an owner could get an A- and the pet a B+, but that is how life is with 93 pounds of fur and wiggles. Our dog has a drinking problem- he drips everywhere. Duke likes to eat Kleenex, puzzle pieces and is partial to Barbie clothes. He swallows rocks and then vomits them up during the wee hours of the night. But he has his good points too.

When the door is open or fence gate left open- he will not bolt, but stays put until called.

He is happy to meet new people and familiar friends.

He does not bark unless on command.

We think he has eaten a rabbit (not E. Bunny, but another rabbit. So our garden will grow this year.)

He warms my feet in winter.

Duke loves to play in Diana's summer pool.

He is a great excuse for a family walk and some exercise.

He intimidates strangers who come to our door.

So, Happy Birthday, Duke pup! Hard to believe you're now 28 in dog years. Can you contribute something to household other than fur?

Longing

2011-04-06T11:13:00.004-04:00

Oh how I long for thee, my dear dark chocolate. Our parting brings me much sadness and lonliness... how many days, again, until we are reunited? Surely we are ofer halfway to Easter by now. Does my longing for you even come close to my love for Jesus? After all my abstinance is for him. To show him my love... not sure if my heart has truly 'gotten' the meaning and purpose of this fast. sigh. Maybe I should have given up the internet, Facebook, or blogging for Lent, instead of my all time favorite comfort food?! What do you think?

Confused and Doubtful

2011-03-31T10:39:00.002-04:00

Another look at our confirmation faith statements the other day has me even more convinced that the work I do it not about me at all. Someone else is in charge. The students I have been worried about I need not have been worried. The faith statements are a fabulous reflection on how the students have taken what they've learned and applied into their own lives.

These young people again have reminded me that the Spirit of God does the work in and around (and often in spite of) the rest of us. And I needed a reminder of that.

Regarding our supposed 'atheist' in class... well after more conversations with her parents, her mentor and prayer- she is not at all interested in being an atheist. No, rather she simply has doubts and questions that for one reason or another she has not articulated to any of us adults who would be glad to listen. I am deeply saddened that we had not had this candid of a conversation earlier.

Keep her in prayer and all like her who struggle with doubts and questions regarding their belief or unbelief in God. It is more obvious to me know that she is in the grip of grace (yet does not realize it or know how to recognize it).

Spring Breakin'

2011-03-31T10:32:00.003-04:00

Last Friday we started our Spring Break with dinner and a movie. Next morning we started off not to a sunny destination in a southern climate, but to the Children's Museum. An indoor palace of play, play and more play! We came home so tired and worn out from our fun that we collapsed on the couch.

Our coming 'vacation' days of break have been filled with not-so-exciting things like errands, shopping, piano practicing and house work... but we're managed to sprinkle in a monorail ride and lunch out with Daddy at work. She played in the 'snowstorm' yesterday in her rain boots and umbrella.

But today- today our little one goes to her Nana's. In fact she has been in a count down for this day for a week...."How many days until I go to Nana's?" she asks over and over again as she counts on her little fingers.

While she is eating all the candy she wants, watching more TV than I allow, and being treated like the royalty she is- I shall get a nap and read a good mystery novel. Ah- the little things are what bring refreshment and renewal!

Happy Spring Break!

Bleeding Duke Blue

2011-03-25T19:11:00.002-04:00

So sad for the season to end for Noaln Smith and Kyle Singler! I am bummed for them and with them that ending the season came on a loss and not another championship. Thanks guys for 125 great wins in your four years at Duke. Your diploma from Duke will open doors for your future!

Even thought my brackets are in shreds, I shall cheer fully for Butler now!

There's An Atheist in Our Confirmation Class!

2011-03-25T14:46:00.005-04:00

After reading the Faith Statements this morning, to my great surprise, I learned we have an atheist in class! But not a very articulate or smart one. She needs to work on her belief system if I am going to 'believe she is an atheist and not just mad at her parents for her life.'

Each of the confirmands was required to write a Faith Statement, which is a written document of a person’s beliefs. If this student does not believe in God in Jesus (I am cool with that), but then she needs to articulate her atheist belief system. The fact that she disagrees with her parent’s belief system is not enough of an acceptable answer in order to complete the confirmation program. There are a lot of reasons to not believe in God. And here are better ones that she has stated.

Therefore, she will be told to re-write her Faith Statement to tell us why she does not believe in God and how her non-God system of beliefs are shaped in order to complete the Confirmation program (yet not be baptized or confirmed).

Here are questions to get her started...

God (why you do not believe in a God who has the Trinitarian vowels?)

Jesus (why you do not believe in a God who pardons and forgives?, why this is unnecessary?)

Holy Spirit (why you do not believe in a God who invisibly shapes your life and speaks to you?)

Bible (why it is not a sacred book?; why you don’t believe it has truth for you?)

Church (why it is not an important community to shape your life and values?; why you would not want to be involved?)

I want either a believer or an articulate non-believer. If this student cannot articulate either… then we have a different problem.

Confirmands of 2011

2011-03-23T12:34:00.002-04:00

We're on the down hill slope with our confirmands (with only six weeks left of the program) and I realized that I have not shared much about this year's class. Why, I don't know. All we have left are faith statements, interviews with each student, three classes, mentor meetings, the Craze nights, and Confirmation weekend.

Our class consists of fifteen students; nine boys and six girls. Our boys, God bless, them are so short and very squirrelly. And two of them can be very, very random in their conversations, outbursts, and answers to questions. Our girls mostly ignore the boys as they easily out-do them on group projects and points for prizes.

This weekend it was very gratifying to watch three of the boys especially 'click' with our lesson on how God saves us through Jesus!

Personally, I cannot wait to spend my Spring break week reading fifteen faith statements! Should be enlightening, challenging and a hoot!

Keep these young people in your prayers!

Easter Hope

2011-03-20T20:24:00.007-04:00

When I arrive in heaven, after meeting and greeting all my loved ones, I plan on asking the Creator about a few things. (That is unless I am completely distracted by all the wonder and glory of the place!) One of the items on my discussion list is a disease that baffles, frustrates and hurts people I care about; ALS or Lou Gehrig's disease.

Last Spring during Holy Week, my cousin's husband was diagnosed with this disease after suffering a variety of odd symptoms. He is a very active and physically fit 45 year old entrepreneur, husband, and father of three teens. Almost a year later he is confined to his bed or wheelchair and aided by a breathing machine 24 hours a day. The disease moves that dramatically and that fast.

Rodney has not allowed that to stop him from being who he is. He retired from his seed corn business last May to spend quality time with his family. They attended every ball game of their youngest child last summer and were able to go on a family cruise around the Mediterranean.

He still has his entrepreneurial spirit, keen mind, tremendous wit, intelligence and honesty! As word spread around their farming, rural community of his diagnosis, Rodney as stunned by the outpouring of love, kindness, generosity and support. "I guess I am not as much of an a**hole as I thought I was!" Love that honesty!

If you attempt to discuss politics, history, economics and business with Rodney- good luck. As you will be challenged to get a word in during the conversation! He always has something to say.

As we approach Easter again this year- I am mindful of the suffering of our Lord and Savior Jesus. His suffering makes more sense in comparison to my cousin's disease. But I believe one thing- because Jesus himself has suffered, his compassion for Rodney and others like him is even greater. Moreover, Jesus' suffering and death does indeed transform and heal all things- including diseases that lead to death like ALS.

My prayer of thanks for this coming Easter is that because of what Christ did for us we have reason to celebrate HOPE in the face of such dreaded disease. Because the disease is not the last word about us... God's love, compassion and transforming grace has the last word.

Unblogging

2011-03-15T11:52:00.002-04:00

Where have I been? The easiest answer is that I have been un-blogging about Lent, the crisis in Japan, my ministry at church and home, and my recent addiction to old episodes of The X-Files. I've unblogged about my dog's lack of manners and his need to eat Kleenex. I have unblogged about everything, actually.

Guess I need new material. Or more time. Or a better discipline of writing. Perhaps that should have been my Lent discipline instead of forgoing chocolate.

Sigh.

Living in Sickville

2011-03-05T20:09:00.003-05:00

Where have I been all week? After recovering from a fantastic confirmation retreat (one of the female mentors prevented the girls from doing some sort of ketchup-based prank), I've been a stay-at-home mother all week. My kiddo faced her third illness (ear infection, strep throat and strep throat 2.0) in thirty days. Egads- this has been a messy month!

I love being a mom. I love being a pastor. I enjoy the challenge of being a working mother, but when the kiddo is sick, the husband has continuing education classes (me too), I have three evening events in one week, and the husband also has consulting work to finish- the effort needed to balance everything becomes too much.

I broke down on Friday- and had a giggle fit that the family did not find as funny as I did. But I felt better. Or maybe it was the Z-pack that had me feeling better! (I have a sinus infection too!)

Whatever- here's to a healthier week next week.

Leaving for Retreat

2011-02-24T13:42:00.002-05:00

We leaving. Going to Splitsville. Or at least Indianapolis ( a mere eight miles away).

Our youth director, mentors and I will be taking a whole gaggle of confirmands and their stuff on retreat this weekend. It is our time of year to make this special trip. And we will attempt within a 24 hour time period to:

teach the Confirmands what Christian worship is and isn't
teach them what the sacraments of Holy Communion and Baptism are and are not
have them experience three different and distinct Christian worship styles
give them a chance to play together
help them realize how loved they are by God and our congregation
consume large amounts of carbonated beverages and calories
sleep on a hard floor
get one table (hopefully it will be the Table of Galations) to earn enough points in order to win fabulous prizes!!!

Wish us luck! Send your prayers our way! We will need them and benefit from them. If I have dark circles under my eyes next week- you know I am still recovering from my lack of sleep.

Loved

2011-02-24T13:38:00.003-05:00

You know you are loved, admired, appreciated and revered by your co-workers because they leave you colorful, friendly notes on your office furniture.

Just consider the colorful reminder our custodian left for me this morning. He used a blue marker (my favorite Duke Blue color- oh, how did he know? That's right, I have a giant Blue Devil flag hanging behind my office desk) on white paper and created a lovely 'target' with an arrow and a note which reads, "Tissues go here."

This treasured gift was left on top of my trash can to remind me, little ol' me, to put my tissues in the trash can and not all over the floor behind and next to me desk.

Isn't that sweet?! :)

I love you too, Gary! And, next time I shall make sure all my trash is in the trash can and not around it, behind it, or under it etc.

Reading

2011-02-15T13:50:00.002-05:00

Well, my reading lately has been a bit weird... since the Christmas holiday these books have occupied my time and attention. I am open for any new suggestions for reading material. Once I finish my Star Wars/Trek Bible study several of these books will be finished until I offer another class.

Stones into Schools by Greg Mortonson
The Mountain of Silence by Kyriacos Markides
Gospel According to Star Wars
Star Trek and Philosophy: The Wrath of Kant by Eberl and Decker
Star Trek and Sacred Ground: Explorations of Star Trek, Religion, and American Culture by Porter and McLaren
The Gospel According to Science Fiction: From the Twilight Zone to the Final Frontier by McKee
Gospel of Luke by Luke
Leaving Church by Barbara Brown Taylor

There are a couple of (fiction) murder mysteries thrown into this lot, but mostly I have been showing my geekness off!

Smooch the Pooch

2011-02-12T20:02:00.004-05:00

My pooch lays around collecting dust and shedding fur. What good is he, really? His cold nose pokes me in the morning, his sad eyes reveal his mood along with the swish of his tail, and he loves to make sure I am always cleaning my kitchen floor because of his muddy and wet paws.

This evening my husband and I completed the ritual of nail clipping. Ugh. None of us like it. All three of us dread it. Fur, clippings, battles of will. Stubborn human meets stubborn canine. Grr. When it's all over and done, the dog gets a treat and we need a grown up drink!

We should get fish. They don't need their nails trimmed. Like ever?!

Don't tell my husband this, but in spite of all these peculiarities my heart is tugged by this pooch. I cannot help myself. Is this what it's like to be addicted to something that is 'bad' for you? I like my Duke dog. Nuisances and all. I miss him when I am away from him.

He is steady, warm, and likes being present to me... great attributes in any friend.

So, Happy Valentines' Day, pooch!

XXOOXX

Peace Making Kindergarteners

2011-02-09T09:14:00.004-05:00

Yesterday one of my pastoral colleagues gave the invitation to join him in 40 Days of Prayer to End Violence in Indianapolis. I have joined the challenge. Hope you will as well.

As I visited with our ten Kindergarten Enrichment students yesterday afternoon, I wondered what wisdom and ideas they would have about peace. They are a smart group and full of creativity. We talked about Jesus' Sermon on the Mount from Matthew's Gospel (see chapter 5). I reminded them that Jesus said, "Blessed are the peacemakers..."

For the next fifteen minutes the children drew with colored markers on a BIG piece of poster board pictures of what they can do to be peace makers! We talked about how important peace is in our world and how destructive violence of all kinds can be. Their ideas are original and not new, but their enthusiasm and honesty are refreshing and inspiring. Here is a list of the amazing colorful drawings that are now hanging in my church office:

Owen drew a picture of hugging his Mom.
Allison drew a picture of bringing her mother breakfast in bed.
Diana drew a picture of her family making Grace (her friend with a brain tumor) happy by playing outside together. That will bring peace.
Aaron drew a picture of taking care of animals especially a spider (who is missing a leg).
Ryan drew a picture of asking questions. He believes that if you ask questions you can bring about peace.
Andrea drew pictures of watching the sunset and of handing out Valentines
Nathan drew pictures of giving his heart to Jesus, giving away Valentines and of drawing quietly so that his parents have peace and quiet.
Trevor drew pictures of hugging his Mom and his cousin Rachel.
Mason drew a picture of a bright sun. He says that we need to watch more sunsets... have quiet moments and admire something beautiful.
Maddox drew a picture of two people visiting and taking care of a person who is lying in a bed.

These children are peace-makers already! They are bringing peace in their hearts, homes, schools, and community. I am honored to know them and witness their peace-making among us. May it always be so for them and for us!

Grab a marker, crayon or colored pencil... now what kind of picture would you draw about how you are making peace?

What to do in an Ice-In...

2011-02-06T14:10:00.004-05:00

What to do in an Ice-In...

do have plenty of food to eat that does not require electricity to heat; don't try to heat soup on a candle flame.
do have plenty of candles, flashlights and batteries available; don't attempt to build a bonfire in the living room.
do have books, games, puzzles, craft supplies, and toys on hand to entertain the young ones in the house; don't expect them to want to do homework or practice their musical instruments.
do have things for the grown ups do; don't attempt to re-arrange furniture or paint the rooms because your husband will grumble that he gets stuck shoveling ice AND moving furniture.
do read a book or two; don't presume the rest of the house will want to hear about your story.
do call the relatives on the cell phone (which you leave in constant charge); don't post a status on Facebook every twenty minutes despite your need for social contact.
do take a nap; don't stay awake too late watching on TV re-runs (it will ruin your brain).
do plan the spring garden; don't believe what a rodent in Pennsylvania says about the weather. Spring is always 6 weeks away from February 2nd- that's the joke!

Have fun inside folks! This stuff cannot last forever so let's bet on how soon the ice and snow will melt? 5 days? 11 days? What do you think?

Steelers!

2011-02-05T16:09:00.002-05:00

After being iced-in and now snowed-in, we're ready for the Super Bowl! As much as I appreciate the non-for-profit nature of the NFL franchise known as the Green Bay Packers, I still will cheer for my childhood team of the Pittsburgh Steelers.

In fact, I learned via Facebook this week that one of my childhood friends is on her way to the game in Texas. (Here' s hoping she made it.)

Party time! Got your pretzels and drinks ready! I'm wearing my black and gold as I type.

Iced In!

2011-02-02T14:34:00.004-05:00

One would think that after being 'iced in' for two and a half days, I would have all the time in the world to get some of my church work done. "Ha ha!," I say to that expectation. Not so.

Caring for a sick child, entertaining her while she convalesces, cooking for the family (while husband is home attempting to do a continuing education seminar via the phone and internet), and making sure our winter storm preparedness is prepared- has wiped me out of creative energy.

Depleted and uncertain when I'll ever get this family's life back to normal- I succumbed to pajama days, sleeping in, staying up late watching old X Files re-runs, and playing with the dog and kid. Call me Snow Slug Michelle.

It may be early March before I am able to catch up on how far behind I've become in my work or I'll just have to pull some all nighters. The only good thing about this situation is... everyone I know around central Indiana is as behind as I am.

And to think that darn ol' groundhog says it will be Spring soon.

Sure doesn't look like it out my frosted window pane.

Getting My Geekness On!

2011-01-28T09:26:00.003-05:00

Who knew that all the hours I spent in college watching Star Trek: The Next Generation, hosting Trek viewing parties with my roommate, and decorating our dorm room via Star Trek Christmas ornaments that would randomly say, "Shuttle craft to Enterprise, Spock here!"- would hit the big pay off in local church ministry?!

Yep, all those Star Trek novels I read, all the Star Trek movies I have watched, and the thousands of hours I have spent viewing all six of the Star Wars movies- now culminate in a fantastic opportunity for me to reveal my geekness with the good people of Calvary UMC.

(By the way- I have attended at least one Star Trek convention, but refrained from wearing a uniform uh...err... costume.)

"Hello Calvary, my name is Michelle and I am a geek."

I have been a science fiction geek since I wandered into the wrong section of my grade school library in Dubuque, Iowa. And I have never looked back. Space, exploration, strange new worlds, tough leadership situations, and goofy characters are what makes sci fi interesting and exciting to me. Or it could just be the special effects.

Whatever it is, my passion or obsession will be revealed in less than five days when I host my first ever Star Wars/Star Trek Bible Study here at church. I hope you'll come. I am nervous. I am thrilled. I am humbled. And I am eager.

As I pour over books, the Bible, movies, and television episodes, I find myself asking a deep question, "Why on earth did it take me this long to finally host such a perfect combination of my two great loves: Christian theology and science fiction?!"

See you Tuesday! "Resistance is futile."

Spring Lust

2011-01-27T09:36:00.002-05:00

When you pour and ponder over slick color pages of a Burpee's Seed Catalog as if it is pornographic material- you know you're ready for Spring!

"I am ready" (written in the voice of Spongebob Squarepants) for spring.

We've had enough of our share of snow, ice, school delays, school closings, bitter cold, and wind chills, etc. My mittens are worn out, my boots need to be replaced, and my long underwear has tears from all the use and abuse.

As I slowly turn the sacred pages of my seed catalogs, draw maps of our future veggie garden, and dream of my strawberry patch and blueberry bushes... I know I'll over spend my gardening budget the moment the lawn and garden centers re-open for Spring. Already I am considering not just veggies and berries, but herbs this year!

Yes, herbs. Catnip for the dog, mint for my tea, and oregano for the spaghetti sauce. These are just a few of the herbs I am considering growing this next season.

Sigh. Just wish March 21 would get here sooner... but I can still lust for warm weather.

Jesus Sighting

2011-01-24T08:57:00.004-05:00

Our fourteen confirmands were challenged yesterday morning to 'look for Jesus' as we went to another United Methodist church and worked with a feeding ministry. They fed 240 hungry, cold people.

The student's comments on the ride home were fascinating...

saw Jesus in us because like we were helping other people.
saw Jesus in the people there because they asked me how I was doing.
saw Jesus in the volunteers who organize the ministry because they are there all the time and doing a lot of work!
saw Jesus in a female guest who ate her meal and then networked, encouraged and helped another guest find overnight lodging, help etc.

I've lost count of the number of years I have taken students to this ministry. It is at least now over a decade... seen lots of changes in the ministry, it's organization, and the folks who come to eat.

There was a subdued mood over the group. Could be the severe cold weather. Could be the fact the Colts were not this deep into the Playoffs again this year. Could be the economy. Could just be the day. It took a little more warmth to get the guests to smile back a greeting of hello etc.

Yet, there were some great smiles!

Especially on our adult leaders who encouraged and witnessed an excellent set of young people. Not one complained. Not one acted inappropriately. Not one failed to work hard. Not one missed Jesus.

Well, there was one student. We will call him, Mr. Personality. He kept looking for a drawing, photograph, or artistic rendering of Jesus throughout the day and was quite frustrated that he didn't find one. That is until he heard the other students' responses to the question. Then, he became confused. His confusion will help him grow... and maybe before we get to Confirmation Sunday he will see Jesus more clearly.

Double Calendar Debate

2011-01-18T16:35:00.003-05:00

Last fall my search for the perfect calendar to keep track of work related things, kid's activities and family events was complete with a trip to the local store. I value a calendar that gives the the entire week at a glance and leaves a whole column for Saturday and one for Sunday (because my weekends are as full as my weekdays.) Contentment came upon me and I was ready for the new year.

Then, it was all ruined on Christmas Day when my mother-on-law (whom I love dearly) gave me a leather bound, scripture laden 2011 calendar. Yikes! I couldn't take either back. Muddling through the situation nearly ruined my cold vacation in Florida.

Then a moment of creative Spirit burst forth. I would use both. But in different ways and for different purposes.

My secular week-at-a-glance calendar would serve as I intended....but my new leather bound, scripture reference on each page, and suggested reading plan on each day calendar would be my Prayer Journal. I haven't done this form of journaling in decades. So it is time to resume the spiritual discipline.

Now, each day I write down who I am praying for (and why). Or I write down situations, people, events. Who knows... maybe your name is in my journal right now! :)

Because prayers of thanksgiving and praise are often overlooked or easily forgotten... each day I write one or two of those down as well. I am pleased and excited about my little 'project'... but more than that I am eager for the pasting of time and accumulation of entries so that I can go back... and trace the footprints of God at work in and around me. Maybe my faith will grow.

So, how is your calendar growing your faith?

Delivering Casseroles

2011-01-14T14:45:00.003-05:00

I think there needs to be a new function added to the multi-tasked and multi-faceted job descriptions for pastor. That is 'casserole delivery person'.

I've had more fun this past year or so since we began our Casserole Club ministry delivering casseroles to families with new babies, families recovering from illness or surgery, families who are not able to make it to worship because of their aches/pains, hearing loss or older age. What a joy to give someone else the 'night off' from cooking and preparation when you hand them a meal made with love!

Reactions vary a bit, but most folks are pleased, surprised, and you can sense they feel special. (Which is the point, after all) Kudos to all our club participants for putting love into the meals!

Keep it up and I shall keep on delivering casseroles around Brownsburg. The exercises forces me into neighborhoods and homes I would not normally visit. The experience helps me pray for our larger community and witness who lives where and near whom. So, as I deliver these meals I am praying for the families who receive them and all their neighbors in-between!

Steelers Fan in Colts Country

2011-01-14T14:43:00.003-05:00

This is a great time to be a Steelers football fan while in Colts country... I still have a team to cheer for in this next week of playoffs!

Me- the husband and the offspring are all wearing our Steelers jerseys today!

Go Steelers!

(Sorry, Colts fans. Next year will be your year! Maybe...)

Confirmation Panic!

2011-01-07T09:23:00.004-05:00

Why? O why, do I always have a confirmation class begin with some sort of adrenaline panic regarding either students signing up or recruiting mentors?

Every year I try my best to begin the recruitment process early so that I know what number of students to expect therefore I know what number of adult mentors to recruit. Send out letters. Confirm birth dates of potential students and work with families on grade level issues etc. I spend most of my Advent looking ahead into January's confirmation class. But to no avail.

Here it is the Friday before the fun begins and I am scrambling again. Geez- you'd think after 15 years of doing this sort of thing I'd reach my learning curve?!?!

Looking for one more male mentor. He cannot just be breathing. Gotta be somebody the Spirit has provided who needs to get to know a pre-adolescent as much as the pre-adolescent needs another adult in his life. But where are you? And who are you?

Maybe my yearly panic is the Spirit's way of reminding me this whole process needs to be bathed in prayer... so here goes...

Holy Spirit, thank you for this new and fresh opportunity to work with young adults in their faith walk. I am honored and privileged for this chance to impact lives and leave a legacy of our Christian faith. Bring the students to class who need to be there. Some may not want to be there. But bring who you have in mind.

Precious Spirit, bring forward the set of adult mentors that are needed for this particular crop of young people. You know my need for one more adult. Bring the right man forward for the job. He may not even know it yet. I pray that your Spirit moves through Andrew and I as we assign mentor matches. Connect the students with the adult that You have in mind for them.

Bless Andrew and I with your love, patience, tenderness, humor and grace as we seek to teach these students about our beliefs, history and faith heritage. May Andrew and I walk the talk as much as we talk the talk. Help us to love each and every student/mentor. May all those who are a part of this year's class recognize YOUR great love. Make us small instruments in comparison to the symphony of your powerful love and grace.

Come, Spirit, come and guide us in all things but especially this journey of faith we do together. All praise to you- Creator, Redeemer, Sustainer, as you live and reign forever and ever as One God. Amen.

No magical mentor appeared, but I am less panic'd!